The Root of ALL Evil

Money.

Yes, money is the root to all evil. It will allow you and  prevent you from doing something you want, as well as from purchasing an item you desire. In my case, it is preventing me from visiting family and friends back home.

Many people I've talked to have asked me why I don't just charge the trip home. Not so easy when you don't have a credit card. I chose this because of the fluctuating interest rates when the credit card companies could do what they wanted. (That's a whole separate story). I'm also trying to lower my debt and move into a cheaper apartment when my lease is up to save more money, as I'm slowly throwing money out for bills and rent and dog shots/antibiotics. Not getting paid in the summer is awful. I've learned the hard way - so if I ever have children and must go on maternity leave anytime during the school year, I must have a million dollars in savings to get me through the summer without a paycheck.

I do need to be grateful, however, that I will still have a meager savings account when school starts back up... I don't know how people do this every year and they own a home! *sigh.

So while I'm crying and upset about not going home, I'll just keep telling myself that I'll be able to go another time when I do have money and to be thankful I have the opportunity...

{yesterday, I received a little note from my parents, with a money order inside. How do they know? Is this some eerie way of the universe telling me that my parents know what's going on no matter how far away from home I am? The money comes without guilt or a designated use, but I have a feeling that I'll feel guilty if I use it for anything other than going home. Now comes the personal guilt trip...}  

Day 17 of All Good Things: Taking Charley-dog to the vet, paying his bill, and knowing he's ok! {even amidst the tears with the vet that the original bill was too high - good to know they have discounts/coupons they don't advertise to help people with the cost!}

Accountability

It's funny how I find myself anxious over what topic to write about each day...what I should tell the bloggy-world about...if I shouldn't write anything because I never know who's reading... Well, in writing each day, I find I'm being held accountable to finish something I've started. I'm going to do what I said I'd do, and that is just how it has to be.

Wednesday brought about a lot of laziness for me. Sure, I did some chores around my apartment and read a book (or two), but I wasn't motivated to do anything else. I saw the figure (0.12) in my bank account, which just about gave me a heart attack. Luckily the bank hadn't caught onto that small figure and I transferred money from savings. *huge sigh of relief. I do have a writing magazine waiting for me to look at, but it may have to wait until the weekend. I'm going to review a workbook today that I don't have but need to get some lessons started for the new school year. {Why I'm thinking about school when I still have 5.5 weeks off is beyond me!} Friday, I may meet with some teacher friends to pre-plan, but they usually don't like my ideas... and I may not want to hear the Negative Nancy's comments.

Nothing new otherwise. No new books that I'm dying to share. Nothing interesting about Charley-face. Just a blah day from the couch. (Will update with my All Good Things in the evening)...

Day 16 of All Good Things: Laughing hysterically while reading the book "Bitter is the New Black" by Jen Lancaster.

Eat, Pray, Love

I was reading another favorite blog yesterday, Makeunder My Life, and saw a brief (21 minutes!) video clip of Elizabeth Gilbert "talks about what she learned from a missed flight, the great social experiment we're all a part of, and how to get up and do the best with who you are and what you have each day." Maybe all of you will be lucky enough to see the entire piece, as my computer quit working halfway through. {slow Internet}.

[The creator of Makeunder My Life is a jewelry designer in Chicago who just put her latest collection online to purchase. I normally don't buy jewelry without seeing it and being able to hold it in my hands, but I LOVED what I saw and may just purchase one...]

One of my favorite books is/was, Eat, Pray, Love. I tabbed specific parts, wrote notes in the margin, and won't allow anyone to borrow my copy - I usually buy them a used one! I'm probably going to be one of the first people in line to see the movie when it comes out in August. Because I'm a fan of hers, I also read her book, Committed, however, it wasn't my favorite. I really thought it was going to be written in a similar fashion to Eat, Pray, Love, but it's more of a non-fiction account on the history of marriage with a little of her personal life thrown in.

On Oprah's site, here, Elizabeth Gilbert also wrote an article, called "The Key to a Well-Lived Life: Lighten Up!" where I snagged this quote:


Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.


Map your own life.

Day 15 of All Good Things: Spending some quality time at home, reading a book, baking some bread, doing a little laundry and seeing the sunshine setting outside on the lake. Beautiful.

Gap Card

Trying to win a Gap card for new jeans... Product Reviews are nice to stumble upon. I would love to be able to buy a new pair of jeans to go along with my small collection of peep-toed high heel shoes. My favorite.

Thanks, Suz!

Winging It

I have slowly become a blogging junkie and can see why so many people are out there in the bloggy world. Not only can you read about people from all over the world, you can read their stories and know that you aren't alone in what you're going through, thinking, believing, etc.

One of my most recent bloggy adventures brought me to a blog called The Lovely Dove. Carissa is a writer in California and she blogs about a variety of topics, one of which caught my eye was PostSecret. Have any of you heard of this? You make a postcard with the front covered in an anonymous secret and you send it to the address on their website and there's a possibility you could see it online or in a published book!


Now, I'm not saying this is something I'm going to do {yet} but it was pretty interesting to read. They are updated each Sunday. I included my favorite.

Online Dating

I admit to trying various avenues to meeting people. I've gone on blind dates, set-ups with friends of friends, and have been through a couple reputable dating websites. NONE of which have been very successful. One guy I ever met through a dating site turned out to be a psychopath who I had to get a restraining order against after he threatened myself and my family. (Also had to go to small claims court and fight him on a violating said orders). *sigh. Another guy I dated for almost a year, but after 6 months the sizzle had fizzled. He was too fixated on his career and technological toys (computers, video games, ipad, etc.)

I guess what I don't understand is semi-complex: either I'm too picky and complicated for men, or I just don't pick the right ones. Maybe it's a mix of both. {insert picture of Carrie Bradshaw and all of her boyfriends before Big, minus the blond hair and fuzzy sweater}. I won't stop looking for Mr. Right, I just wish I wasn't consistently finding what many call "Mr. Right Now."

What other options are out there for an independent woman who's close to thirty {gasp} and has an idea of where her life is going? Bars are not the place to go - ladies night by myself, no thank you - I've learned walking up to a guy isn't always kosher - so what to do next... ideas welcome.

Day 14 of All Good Things: Being able to laugh at myself as I walk through a very crowded bookstore, shuffling my right foot along the floor because my flip flop broke. Paid for books and mags then hopped to my car through a nasty parking lot behind the Cheesecake Factory. {imagine rotting garbage stench in the hot air and particles on the pavement} At least there was another pair of flip flops in my trunk and a shower at home!

OWL Update and Shin Splints

Who knew that when a girl tried getting healthy she'd get shin splints and have to be off of the treadmill for 6-8 weeks? *sigh. I asked my mom for advice (she's run multiple marathon races, among others) and she said the pain sounded like splints, which means no running and possibly the need for new shoes. Well... I'm cheap and thought the shoes I have would be all right. Guess a shoe investment will come soon - until then, it's the exercise bike and weight lifting to try to get this excess weight off. I will NOT give up on losing this weight before I go to Europe!

No plans for the week in my planner - except purchasing a new planner (thanks Charley-dog for thinking my old one was a chew toy. AGAIN). I also have to send in my consolidation forms, but everything is closed today, so there's always tomorrow. I may also go into work tomorrow to use their phone to call the direct loan people because we all know I'll be on hold for ages to receive answers to two simple and short questions. Such is life, right?

While all of my friends are cruising to Mexico, I'm going to spend the time reading a few books and possibly lesson-planning. I need to stay busy so I don't drive myself into a shopping frenzy because I'm bored. Although, there is a super cute Coach purse I saw at the outlet mall a few weeks ago that is calling my name...

Day 13 of All Good Things: completing 1.5 miles in 13.5 minutes was a great accomplishment today...with a nice and light lunch and a nap. Summer vacation rocks.

Going to the movies...

alone.

No worries though - doing things by myself has occurred quite often the past 4 years, and I'm ok with it. I've decided to go see Eclipse because I want to see it in the theater. I waited to see the other two movies until they came out on DVD so I could enjoy them at home, but movie theater popcorn is so much better than the microwave kind!

LOVED the movie. I only wished it hadn't ended where it did because I was waiting for Edward and Bella to get married and have their daughter. *sigh. This just means that I'll have to look forward to Breaking Dawn and a possible movie-thon beforehand.

Day 12 of All Good Things: Living in an INDEPENDENT country where everyone is FREE to make their own decisions and live their lives without much fear. Happy Birthday, America.

Catch-Up

The great day I had yesterday caught up with me and I didn't spend much time on the computer, pondering what to write about. I've been spending a lot of time doing things I want to do, and if that involves watching a week's worth of General Hospital in one sitting while cuddling with Charley-dog, then so be it. But, that's not what happened yesterday.


After completing my first run/walk of 1.5 miles in 20 minutes, I also lifted a little 5lb weight for a few reps. Today, I completed 1.7 in 20 minutes, without lifting weights. I blame the dude hogging the only weight bench in the entire gym of my complex. They claim it's state-of-the-art, but I had better equipment back in college at the Rec Center.


Perusing a used bookstore is also a fun thing to do. I just grabbed a small stack of books and took them with me. I love hearing the total of store credit and then seeing what kind of semi-free damage I can make with the books I want or the books I find while in search of others. Sure, the store makes more money off of me and my new books than I would like, but I don't have any use for most of the books I read after I've read them. I've lent a few out with hope that I'll get those back soon and can take them in for more credit.


I even made dinner all by myself. This was a major feat. I marinated a pork chop for a few hours, then cooked it while I made redskin mashed potatoes and asparagus! It was so yummy. I have leftovers, but no pork chop since I only bought one at Whole Foods. LOVE that store - just wish it was a closer drive.


I also spent some time working on my vision book. NO, I haven't forgotten about it! Just so happens that the majority of the pictures I cut out from magazines were too large. I've got a small stack of magazines to go through, so that's my goal for tomorrow. That, and I would like to get a small start on work-related lesson plans. Just a little worried about that because of my co-workers, but I can't let that stop me from doing what I would like to in the art of teaching...


Day 10 of All Good Things: Having an entire day to myself, doing what I wanted to do, while accomplishing little. Some days it is all about relaxing and enjoying the day.

Day 11 of All Good Things: Have plans to go to a mexican dive restaurant with friends - I'm sure it'll be an eventful evening... love those friends!

Minor Mess reMoved

I spent the latter half of the evening going through a large mound of old address book pages, sticky notes with my chicken scratch, and torn envelope pieces to compile a much more organized address book. I was surprised because I already had written a large majority of addresses into the new book, but kept the pile of papers stuffed inside the cover. Time for a little de-cluttering of the desk and the book. Many addresses had changed with friends and family moving to other states, but also my removal of people I haven't talked to much in the past few years. This brought me to think a little about my post regarding relationships and how I'm the one to initiate everything (remember, that's how I feel). Interesting to see how many people I've lost contact with simply because I wasn't putting forth as much effort as I had when their names were written in the last address book. 

I was thinking a lot today after lunch about why I don't feel genuinely happy on the inside, which is partially because of my weight. Granted, I'm not overweight by any means, but I know I'm not 100% healthy. That's going to change.   I am making a goal to lose 20 to 30 pounds by the time I venture over the pond to Europe in December. I have complete faith that I'll be able to do it - I just have to get over the fear of what I'll look like in the complex gym working out instead of at the private trainer I was seeing a few blue moons ago. Guess that's what happens when you move into a nicer apartment - extra luxuries like personal trainers go by the wayside! No worries though, I love my apartment and I will soon love myself more than I already do because I'll have a nice healthy body to prove it.

As I was painstakingly writing, reading, crossing out old addresses (white-out isn't in my vocab when it comes to address books), I came across a pretty cool proverb I wanted to share. Totally made my evening worth the contemplation. To make up for missing yesterday's good thing, I've included them both today.

Day 8 of All Good Things: I spent the evening having a wonderful array of food at a great restaurant to celebrate a co-worker's birthday. Much wine, fancy food, and martini's were consumed. I even met a few new people...

Day 9 of All Good Things:

Bonjour, Paris!

So I did it!

I booked the trip to Paris, by way of London. Just so happens I'll also travel through Chicago and Montreal to get there, but that's ok! Cheaper airfare is what matters.

I cannot wait and have already started reading the tour guides I bought over a month ago for this very day, without knowing what day it would be!  Now I have to purchase a small London guidebook because I'll have a day or so there on my own before and at the end of the tour group. Excited just doesn't express how happy I am.

I told my parents about it before posting it for the world of facebook. I was more nervous about my dad because I value his opinion more than I like to admit sometimes. My mom is usually supportive anyway and thought it'd be fun for me. She was even going to talk to my dad when she got home today, but didn't have to. Well, just talking to my dad via instant messenger minutes ago, I asked him about the trip and how I'd miss Christmas at home again (missed it last year for a surgery) and his response was:

You must take these chances when they happen...or you will always miss out...You will have a blast...We are proud of you...You work hard...Enjoy life some.

And the entire time I was worried for nothing.

Day 7 of All Good Things: Having supportive friends and family, all equally happy and excited for this journey...Wishing I could squeeze all of them in a great big hug.

Subtle and Not-So Subtle

Changes, that is.


I had a few moments today of subtle change, and huge change. One, I consolidated my student loans and the paperwork will be mailed tomorrow. Huge deal, considering the fact that as a teacher, I can enroll in the IBR program and only pay for 10 years. After that, the debt is cleared. Yes, the debt is cleared. With the amount I have in loans from undergraduate and graduate loans, I'll save 66%. Huge smile on my face...just have to stay in teaching for those said ten years, but I think I can manage.


The second subtle change was my mad baking skills tonight. Instead of gorging on food during my favorite Monday reality TV, I baked some banana bread. From scratch! I used the plaid cookbook from a college boss and I cannot wait to eat some for breakfast in the morning. The most amazing part (aside from the fact that it wasn't burnt) was that I had ALL of the ingredients in my kitchen! That almost never happens! Second smile on my face.


The third, not-so-subtle change is that one of my dreams from a previous post will be coming true. I don't want to jinx it by posting it today, so I'll wait until tomorrow, after I make an important phone call during lunch. If it goes the way I expect, the announcement tomorrow will make me cry, jump up and down for excitement, and drive me to lose a little weight...more details tomorrow...so keep the fingers crossed!  


Day 6 of All Good Things: I talked to my mom again today and when I told her of the dollar amount I'd save (assuming my dollar figures are correct), she cried because she was so happy for me, knowing I won't owe my life away in education debt. I don't like hearing my mom cry, but I do find joy in knowing she's proud of me, without her having to say anything.