I am struggling, in all sorts of ways. I'm a a crossroads in my life where I am trying to figure out where to go next. Where will my job take me if I stay where I am currently teaching? Will I become an administrator? Will I be able to do what I do now in another city? State? I'm also struggling financially - I have only been in a similar situation to where I am now when I was in college for my undergraduate degree. I thought it was bad then, but it's really bad now. Let's just say the cable bill was sliced (thank goodness I still have some reality tv to numb my brain), the Internet will soon say goodbye (don't really need it except to play games, surf facebook, and check emails, which I can do at work), I also have found a cheaper apartment that I will soon tour to see if they are really for me (same sq. ft. as I have now, but 200 less per month).
Now for the fun stuff [insert sarcasm]: I have lost about 5 pounds in a little over a month. Sure, losing it slow is supposedly the way to go, but it isn't coming off fast enough for me! The up-side to this... a co-worker came up to me today to tell me that she has noticed that I'm losing weight. The dark side of my brain wants to think "is she saying this because she is noticing or because she knows I'm going nowhere fast and wants to make me feel better?"
Work just plain sucks. I have people coming at me from all angles to discuss things that I'm supposed to know the answers to, but don't. Who would always want to hear "I don't know, I'll look it up and get back to you" or "Here's how I would handle it, but you may want to hold off on answering until you get all of the information."
Gag.
Maybe I'm just a big pity pot of crap right now - to which I think we all go through. But can I ask why in the world it all seems to be happening at once?
And the one place I thought I could go this week to renew my spirit and trust in something higher than me - asked the entire church to empty their pockets in donation this week, and all I had was a quarter.
