one week from today

And she'll be in Paris!

It's hard to believe that it's only a week away. Seems like forever ago that the trip was decided, paid for, and items purchased for the week away.

Many people have told me to be careful, take extra precaution, don't flash money, etc. I know not to do this. I know to stick with my group, to only ask people that work somewhere reputable, and to learn the language as best I can so they don't see a dumb American. ;-)

In all honesty, I can't believe I'm going there alone, but I also can't believe I'm going at all. It's surreal right now, simply because it's something I've wanted to do for so long, but didn't want to wait forever to complete.

I'm more worried about dogface and how he'll react to my being gone for a week... not fun for a dog used to one house, put in another one with more people. I can't dwell on that because I know Charley will adapt (plus it's only a week), and it saves me some money for the vet shots he needs to be boarded, and the nightly fee they charge (varies from 18-32 a night in the places I've called).

Reminds me... Have to call and cancel the other two places.

You Can Be Happy...

No Matter What.

At least that's what the doc said who wrote the book!

I've been reading this book on and off for a couple weeks. Because it isn't fiction or gripping material, I haven't just read through it like I do with other books.

In the foreward of the book, I highlighted three pieces that were important:
"Happiness is not the end of the road; it's the beginning. Contentment enhances our spiritual life."
"...life is not your enemy, but your thinking can be."
"We have a choice. We can learn to flow with life, with loving and patient acceptance, or we can struggle against it."

Richard Carlson, PhD, wrote those - and he's written many more in this book that have made me realize that I can't change or be upset about anything that isn't currently happening to me at a specific moment. For example, I may see a commercial on tv that gets me thinking about the economy and the effects of people losing their job, which in turn makes me think about my dad, who literally just lost his job. I can make the choice to get upset at the economy, my dad's boss, the car companies who took their advertising out of my dad's company, etc. But can I really change any of that from happening? Can I make any of it better? No. I have to learn to think about what it is I can change, what it is I can do, and learn to be happy because all I'm doing when I get upset is think about things that I have no control over.

It's tough.

Did I want to scream at the world and do the "Why Me's? for my dad? Sure. Did I want to ask him a lot of questions to make sure he would be ok with my mom and no income? Sure. But can I change any of that? Am I in a position to help them financially, if needed? No. But if they asked, I sure would try; however, I know they wouldn't ask.

"...negative thoughts - thoughts that cause distress and unhappiness - aren't worth dwelling on because they take away what we are looking for, a feeling of happiness." (p. 21-22)

My All Good Things for today: waking up in a warm place, excited for the day ahead.

Big, Fun, Scary Lists for 2011

I was reading the NaNoWriMo newsletter earlier and read about their lists of Big, Fun, Scary things to do in 2011. (I guess they do this every year, but I'm just learning).


So here's my Big, Fun, Scary list of things to do in 2011:

• Read 10 books each month, with at least 1 of them being a classic. (need to find a good list of classics to pull from)
• Save 200 dollars each paycheck to put toward paying off bills and then toward a trip
• Book another vacation to Europe, but in the summer (ask my mom if she wants to come too)
• Plan and write a novel (whether it's through NaNoWriMo or not)

(Will add/delete as necessary until 2011 is here!)

Long Time No Write

...or energy.

I've been in another funk, but I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaacck! 

I've received another pretty swift kick in the rear to get things going. Some small discouraging events have taken place recently, and I can't dwell on them.  But I must document so I can remember why I was discouraged and why I shouldn't sit and ponder and think so much!

• Learned that college class I may teach in January could be pushed to February, only if enrollment is there. No enrollement or not enough students = no class to teach = no extra money to pay bills.
• Rent won't be lowered, so moving is the only option. Downer that the amount to move/pay movers is high+security deposits+pet deposits+time off work to move = a stressed out girl who doesn't want to ask parents for money or take money against her credit card and pay high interest (or completely wipe out her meager savings that she used last summer to get through without being paid)
• Paying for stuff in Europe. Not all meals are covered. It's winter in Paris and I don't have a good winter coat. (I know, a Michigan girl in FL without a coat). Well, I usually leave that coat in Michigan for when I go home. I've already told my parents to keep the coat and donate it or use it because I don't want them mailing it to me. (An ex gave it to me and I need to rid myself of that coat after 9 years). I can't say I didn't get my use out of it!
• Work. I love my job, but the daily stress of relying on others and them falling through is NOT ok. I know I can't control it, which is why it's in this list of stuff, but it's discouraging.
• NaNoWriMo: I didn't finish the novel I set out to write. I wasn't even close. You needed 50,000 words to finish and be a "winner" to the NaNo people. I think I ended around 2,000. My cousin didn't finish either, but she was closer with 30K. We talked and said we'd cheer each other on in December, but my time has been stolen by my inability to say NO to people. Hence why I'm tutoring 2 times a week after school, am in charge of a group of people, on various committees, leading a meeting in January, teaching college (hopefully), teaching teens/grading/grading/grading... I want to finish that book! (I learned what "pantsing" is in the writing world. I'm totally guilty and need to plan, not pants). *sigh

I'm reading a book called You Can Be Happy No Matter What and I've learned quite a bit from it that I'll share later this week. The main thing I've learned is that a lot of our unhappy thoughts and things that get us all hot and bothered, yelling, upset, etc., are really our own thoughts that we allow to fester and build, not living in the moment and figuring out if we have control over it or not. (So my yelling and flashing my brights at a stupid woman on the highway probably wasn't living in the moment of what I could control when she cut me off, but it's a work in progress, right?)

I'm going to really try to work on that in the coming weeks leading up to a new year, a birthday, and coming to terms with things I cannot change.

Until then, today's good thing (really happened yesterday): I was given recognition by a colleague for the extra duties I complete. Not only was it nice receiving recognition, it was even nicer that it was by a person I rarely see or speak to because of what we teach and where our classrooms are. It kept a smile on my face all day (and the cookies I received were also nice, although my hips would disagree).