Long Time No Write

...or energy.

I've been in another funk, but I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaacck! 

I've received another pretty swift kick in the rear to get things going. Some small discouraging events have taken place recently, and I can't dwell on them.  But I must document so I can remember why I was discouraged and why I shouldn't sit and ponder and think so much!

• Learned that college class I may teach in January could be pushed to February, only if enrollment is there. No enrollement or not enough students = no class to teach = no extra money to pay bills.
• Rent won't be lowered, so moving is the only option. Downer that the amount to move/pay movers is high+security deposits+pet deposits+time off work to move = a stressed out girl who doesn't want to ask parents for money or take money against her credit card and pay high interest (or completely wipe out her meager savings that she used last summer to get through without being paid)
• Paying for stuff in Europe. Not all meals are covered. It's winter in Paris and I don't have a good winter coat. (I know, a Michigan girl in FL without a coat). Well, I usually leave that coat in Michigan for when I go home. I've already told my parents to keep the coat and donate it or use it because I don't want them mailing it to me. (An ex gave it to me and I need to rid myself of that coat after 9 years). I can't say I didn't get my use out of it!
• Work. I love my job, but the daily stress of relying on others and them falling through is NOT ok. I know I can't control it, which is why it's in this list of stuff, but it's discouraging.
• NaNoWriMo: I didn't finish the novel I set out to write. I wasn't even close. You needed 50,000 words to finish and be a "winner" to the NaNo people. I think I ended around 2,000. My cousin didn't finish either, but she was closer with 30K. We talked and said we'd cheer each other on in December, but my time has been stolen by my inability to say NO to people. Hence why I'm tutoring 2 times a week after school, am in charge of a group of people, on various committees, leading a meeting in January, teaching college (hopefully), teaching teens/grading/grading/grading... I want to finish that book! (I learned what "pantsing" is in the writing world. I'm totally guilty and need to plan, not pants). *sigh

I'm reading a book called You Can Be Happy No Matter What and I've learned quite a bit from it that I'll share later this week. The main thing I've learned is that a lot of our unhappy thoughts and things that get us all hot and bothered, yelling, upset, etc., are really our own thoughts that we allow to fester and build, not living in the moment and figuring out if we have control over it or not. (So my yelling and flashing my brights at a stupid woman on the highway probably wasn't living in the moment of what I could control when she cut me off, but it's a work in progress, right?)

I'm going to really try to work on that in the coming weeks leading up to a new year, a birthday, and coming to terms with things I cannot change.

Until then, today's good thing (really happened yesterday): I was given recognition by a colleague for the extra duties I complete. Not only was it nice receiving recognition, it was even nicer that it was by a person I rarely see or speak to because of what we teach and where our classrooms are. It kept a smile on my face all day (and the cookies I received were also nice, although my hips would disagree).