Another Oprah Quote...

Yes, another quote from Oprah:

"Married or single, if you're looking for a sense of completion, I encourage you to look inward...The irony of relationships is that you're usually not ready for one until you can say from the deepest part of yourself, 'I will never again give up my power to another person.' Only then will you be a woman who's ready for the strongest kind of connection."

I hadn't really thought much about this until I stumbled upon this quote in Oprah's book, Words That Matter, because I have always thought I was an independent woman who didn't give up things for others. I then reflected back upon various relationships I have been in, which were mostly unhealthy. R was the longest relationship at 2.5 years and when we got to a point where we talked about marriage, I freaked out and didn't feel that type of committment was what I wanted at 22-23 years old. I was in a controlling relationship, although I felt that it was ok: only until I ended that relationship with R did I realize that I was allowing myself to be manipulated into thinking that my decisions were really my own. Dating M put another spin on my life because he was the complete opposite. I found out more about myself in those 8 months than the previous 2.5 years with R. Up until now I've had some rocky relationships, a restraining order/court case, and even dated a semi-normal guy, N, for 9 months.

I've only had one date in a year, by my choice. I was asked recently by a co-worker if I was seeing anyone and when I said no, her reply was "Why aren't you? You've got everything going for you?" and I thought, 'How dare she say that? I don't need to share my life with someone just because others think it's the right thing to do.' Sure, life can be lonely without having someone to share it with, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried. I just haven't found the guy who allows me to be who I am, relishes in the fact that I'm not going to give in or give up, and who loves me with all of who they are.

So here I am, ready to shout this from the proverbial rooftop that "I will never again give up my power to another person!"