like I try too hard to maintain relationships with people, whether they are close friends, friends I see at huge events, or those who I try to say hi to so we don't lose touch. What's up with that? Am I toxic? I understand people lead busy lives - heck, 10 months out of the year I'm super-teacher-crazy-woman trying to get everything together, so I get it. But do I have to be the one to initiate every conversation? Maybe I don't always do that, but it sure feels like it.
I also feel like I let myself down more than I should, without really trying to. For instance, someone earlier at dinner said that the year 2010 has been a pretty shitty year for them so far and I made a comment that bits and pieces of the past 10 years have been shitty for me... WHAT? Why would I say that? Sure, there are moments, but why would I say that out loud unless it were true? What is it that's so bad about my life that I would make that comment?
It's a work in progress, this life...
Day 5 of All Good Things: Enjoying a dinner out with friends, laughing about stupid teacher jokes and situations... never a dull moment.
