with Pomegranates.
Ok - I've had my fill of Jen Lancaster books (for the time being - mainly because I don't have the remaining two, but that's beside the point).
I have rattan-type boxes on the bottom shelf of each of my bedside tables loaded with books that take precedence over my two large bookcases in the living room. I pulled out one of the boxes and retrieved the book, Traveling with Pomegranates by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor. (Did you read The Secret Life of Bees? FABULOUS book, FYI).
This book hits the relationship I have with my mom to a capital T. Sue starts out the book writing about her approaching 50th birthday (my mom is just a few years past that milestone), who looks at her grown daugther and reflects on her life and the relationship they share. Sue describes events in Ann's life about college graduation, how their relationship was once so close and now it's slightly strained because the entire truth isn't revealed, and their trip to Greece. I can't say that my mom and I are planning on going to Greece, but I've done a lot of what Ann has, as I'm sure my mom has with my moving away and my attempt at "finding who I am" as an adult and not just as her daughter.
I've only just begun reading this and can't put it down. A quote really hit me in regard to those dreaded ex-boyfriends in my life. To set the scene, Ann first recounts her past and then describes a new relationship and how different this is in from those in her past, but for the better:
"Maybe it was because I was far from home, far from my ordinary circumstances, and more or less alone for the first time in my life, feeling like I was on an awkward first date with myself. I'd known who I was with my ex-boyfriend. I'd invested years in the girlfriend role, in the ways of accommodation, being what I thought he wanted me to be, moon to his Jupiter, quietly organizing my psychological orbits around him...p25...Don't ever lose yourself again. And I was vigilant. If I wanted to browse a bookstore or walk the beach instead of watching his tennis match, I did. I realized that not losing myself wasn't only about how we spent time, though; it was about the way I valued myself within the relationship." p. 34
Although I'm not in a relationship at the moment (and I'm quite satisfied with how things are) I am slowing becoming more and more comfortable with doing what makes me happy. I don't plan on losing myself. In reading this novel thus far, I'm 100% content with knowing that doing what I love and then sharing myself in someone else's life is a gift - I'm not going to be a doting, accommodating girlfriend, wife, etc. We all need our own niche in life, and taking strolls alone to be able to come together to share something is what I'm looking for.
Can't wait to see what the rest of the novel brings out of me.........
Day 27 of All Good Things: Coming home after a writing workshop to a clean apartment with a notice of a book delivery in my mailbox.
P.S. Operation weight loss (OWL) is going great! Each day I've completed 25 minutes on the elliptical machine, which claims that I burned 380 calories with 1150 steps (roughly). Although a little skeptical, my heartrate is high and I sweat like a pig, so it's all good. Haven't weighed myself, but my clothes are fitting differently. Work in progress!
