And she'll be in Paris!
It's hard to believe that it's only a week away. Seems like forever ago that the trip was decided, paid for, and items purchased for the week away.
Many people have told me to be careful, take extra precaution, don't flash money, etc. I know not to do this. I know to stick with my group, to only ask people that work somewhere reputable, and to learn the language as best I can so they don't see a dumb American. ;-)
In all honesty, I can't believe I'm going there alone, but I also can't believe I'm going at all. It's surreal right now, simply because it's something I've wanted to do for so long, but didn't want to wait forever to complete.
I'm more worried about dogface and how he'll react to my being gone for a week... not fun for a dog used to one house, put in another one with more people. I can't dwell on that because I know Charley will adapt (plus it's only a week), and it saves me some money for the vet shots he needs to be boarded, and the nightly fee they charge (varies from 18-32 a night in the places I've called).
Reminds me... Have to call and cancel the other two places.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
You Can Be Happy...
No Matter What.
At least that's what the doc said who wrote the book!
I've been reading this book on and off for a couple weeks. Because it isn't fiction or gripping material, I haven't just read through it like I do with other books.
In the foreward of the book, I highlighted three pieces that were important:
"Happiness is not the end of the road; it's the beginning. Contentment enhances our spiritual life."
"...life is not your enemy, but your thinking can be."
"We have a choice. We can learn to flow with life, with loving and patient acceptance, or we can struggle against it."
Richard Carlson, PhD, wrote those - and he's written many more in this book that have made me realize that I can't change or be upset about anything that isn't currently happening to me at a specific moment. For example, I may see a commercial on tv that gets me thinking about the economy and the effects of people losing their job, which in turn makes me think about my dad, who literally just lost his job. I can make the choice to get upset at the economy, my dad's boss, the car companies who took their advertising out of my dad's company, etc. But can I really change any of that from happening? Can I make any of it better? No. I have to learn to think about what it is I can change, what it is I can do, and learn to be happy because all I'm doing when I get upset is think about things that I have no control over.
It's tough.
Did I want to scream at the world and do the "Why Me's? for my dad? Sure. Did I want to ask him a lot of questions to make sure he would be ok with my mom and no income? Sure. But can I change any of that? Am I in a position to help them financially, if needed? No. But if they asked, I sure would try; however, I know they wouldn't ask.
"...negative thoughts - thoughts that cause distress and unhappiness - aren't worth dwelling on because they take away what we are looking for, a feeling of happiness." (p. 21-22)
My All Good Things for today: waking up in a warm place, excited for the day ahead.
At least that's what the doc said who wrote the book!
I've been reading this book on and off for a couple weeks. Because it isn't fiction or gripping material, I haven't just read through it like I do with other books.
In the foreward of the book, I highlighted three pieces that were important:
"Happiness is not the end of the road; it's the beginning. Contentment enhances our spiritual life."
"...life is not your enemy, but your thinking can be."
"We have a choice. We can learn to flow with life, with loving and patient acceptance, or we can struggle against it."
Richard Carlson, PhD, wrote those - and he's written many more in this book that have made me realize that I can't change or be upset about anything that isn't currently happening to me at a specific moment. For example, I may see a commercial on tv that gets me thinking about the economy and the effects of people losing their job, which in turn makes me think about my dad, who literally just lost his job. I can make the choice to get upset at the economy, my dad's boss, the car companies who took their advertising out of my dad's company, etc. But can I really change any of that from happening? Can I make any of it better? No. I have to learn to think about what it is I can change, what it is I can do, and learn to be happy because all I'm doing when I get upset is think about things that I have no control over.
It's tough.
Did I want to scream at the world and do the "Why Me's? for my dad? Sure. Did I want to ask him a lot of questions to make sure he would be ok with my mom and no income? Sure. But can I change any of that? Am I in a position to help them financially, if needed? No. But if they asked, I sure would try; however, I know they wouldn't ask.
"...negative thoughts - thoughts that cause distress and unhappiness - aren't worth dwelling on because they take away what we are looking for, a feeling of happiness." (p. 21-22)
My All Good Things for today: waking up in a warm place, excited for the day ahead.
Big, Fun, Scary Lists for 2011
I was reading the NaNoWriMo newsletter earlier and read about their lists of Big, Fun, Scary things to do in 2011. (I guess they do this every year, but I'm just learning).
So here's my Big, Fun, Scary list of things to do in 2011:
So here's my Big, Fun, Scary list of things to do in 2011:
- Read 10 books each month, with at least 1 of them being a classic. (need to find a good list of classics to pull from)
- Save 200 dollars each paycheck to put toward paying off bills and then toward a trip
- Book another vacation to Europe, but in the summer (ask my mom if she wants to come too)
- Plan and write a novel (whether it's through NaNoWriMo or not)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Long Time No Write
...or energy.
I've been in another funk, but I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaacck!
I've received another pretty swift kick in the rear to get things going. Some small discouraging events have taken place recently, and I can't dwell on them. But I must document so I can remember why I was discouraged and why I shouldn't sit and ponder and think so much!
I'm going to really try to work on that in the coming weeks leading up to a new year, a birthday, and coming to terms with things I cannot change.
Until then, today's good thing (really happened yesterday): I was given recognition by a colleague for the extra duties I complete. Not only was it nice receiving recognition, it was even nicer that it was by a person I rarely see or speak to because of what we teach and where our classrooms are. It kept a smile on my face all day (and the cookies I received were also nice, although my hips would disagree).
I've been in another funk, but I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaacck!
I've received another pretty swift kick in the rear to get things going. Some small discouraging events have taken place recently, and I can't dwell on them. But I must document so I can remember why I was discouraged and why I shouldn't sit and ponder and think so much!
- Learned that college class I may teach in January could be pushed to February, only if enrollment is there. No enrollement or not enough students = no class to teach = no extra money to pay bills.
- Rent won't be lowered, so moving is the only option. Downer that the amount to move/pay movers is high+security deposits+pet deposits+time off work to move = a stressed out girl who doesn't want to ask parents for money or take money against her credit card and pay high interest (or completely wipe out her meager savings that she used last summer to get through without being paid)
- Paying for stuff in Europe. Not all meals are covered. It's winter in Paris and I don't have a good winter coat. (I know, a Michigan girl in FL without a coat). Well, I usually leave that coat in Michigan for when I go home. I've already told my parents to keep the coat and donate it or use it because I don't want them mailing it to me. (An ex gave it to me and I need to rid myself of that coat after 9 years). I can't say I didn't get my use out of it!
- Work. I love my job, but the daily stress of relying on others and them falling through is NOT ok. I know I can't control it, which is why it's in this list of stuff, but it's discouraging.
- NaNoWriMo: I didn't finish the novel I set out to write. I wasn't even close. You needed 50,000 words to finish and be a "winner" to the NaNo people. I think I ended around 2,000. My cousin didn't finish either, but she was closer with 30K. We talked and said we'd cheer each other on in December, but my time has been stolen by my inability to say NO to people. Hence why I'm tutoring 2 times a week after school, am in charge of a group of people, on various committees, leading a meeting in January, teaching college (hopefully), teaching teens/grading/grading/grading... I want to finish that book! (I learned what "pantsing" is in the writing world. I'm totally guilty and need to plan, not pants). *sigh
I'm going to really try to work on that in the coming weeks leading up to a new year, a birthday, and coming to terms with things I cannot change.
Until then, today's good thing (really happened yesterday): I was given recognition by a colleague for the extra duties I complete. Not only was it nice receiving recognition, it was even nicer that it was by a person I rarely see or speak to because of what we teach and where our classrooms are. It kept a smile on my face all day (and the cookies I received were also nice, although my hips would disagree).
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Reflective
I feel very reflective tonight, and I'm not sure why - I just know that ending the month of November brings us to December, and yet another year has passed.
Maybe that's why - I'll be another year older in January. Another year closer to 30. Gack.
I've been questioning a lot lately in regard to my happiness. I really don't have much wrong in my life (aside from the fact that I suck at money managing, but I work on it and I am slowly getting better). I have a wonderful set of supportive WE friends - I have a great family, with a mom who sends care boxes each month and grandparents who send written notes (LOVE that they don't use email) - and I have a job I adore on most days.
I just feel like something is missing.
I've been doing what people say in regard to "waiting for Mr. Right" and not actively looking for someone. It's not easy to just sit back and hope someone will find me - in fact, it's just plain odd. I don't and won't go out alone - the friends I do go out with are not straight or are married - and I'm not going to pay for a dating site because of my lack of money managing. I get talked to at the avacado's in the supermarket about how to pick the right avocado - I got whistled at in the parking lot going to my car yesterday - and a group of cute guys say hello this morning at my favorite coffee shop. What did I do? Ignored them completely because I thought they were psychotic wierdos... although I did talk to the avocado guy for a minute because I was in a very public and busy place and didn't want to seem super duper rude.
Where and when am I supposed to figure things out? I start tutoring this week for a couple hours after school, and I got the job teaching entry level classes at a local college. I have a dog who sits at my feet or snores while he's sleeping in the crook of my arm and follows me everywhere. I have an upcoming trip to Paris and London to look forward to. I have a year ending and a new beginning, but it seems that just last year I was saying a lot of this same crap to myself. I'm not asking for a rush of life events - I'm asking for an answer to when I'll finally feel satisfied in knowing my life is full and not missing something...
Until then - back to writing my novel for NaNoWriMo, in hopes I'll be to 5,000 words by month's end (although nowhere near their 50,000 goal).
Maybe that's why - I'll be another year older in January. Another year closer to 30. Gack.
I've been questioning a lot lately in regard to my happiness. I really don't have much wrong in my life (aside from the fact that I suck at money managing, but I work on it and I am slowly getting better). I have a wonderful set of supportive WE friends - I have a great family, with a mom who sends care boxes each month and grandparents who send written notes (LOVE that they don't use email) - and I have a job I adore on most days.
I just feel like something is missing.
I've been doing what people say in regard to "waiting for Mr. Right" and not actively looking for someone. It's not easy to just sit back and hope someone will find me - in fact, it's just plain odd. I don't and won't go out alone - the friends I do go out with are not straight or are married - and I'm not going to pay for a dating site because of my lack of money managing. I get talked to at the avacado's in the supermarket about how to pick the right avocado - I got whistled at in the parking lot going to my car yesterday - and a group of cute guys say hello this morning at my favorite coffee shop. What did I do? Ignored them completely because I thought they were psychotic wierdos... although I did talk to the avocado guy for a minute because I was in a very public and busy place and didn't want to seem super duper rude.
Where and when am I supposed to figure things out? I start tutoring this week for a couple hours after school, and I got the job teaching entry level classes at a local college. I have a dog who sits at my feet or snores while he's sleeping in the crook of my arm and follows me everywhere. I have an upcoming trip to Paris and London to look forward to. I have a year ending and a new beginning, but it seems that just last year I was saying a lot of this same crap to myself. I'm not asking for a rush of life events - I'm asking for an answer to when I'll finally feel satisfied in knowing my life is full and not missing something...
Until then - back to writing my novel for NaNoWriMo, in hopes I'll be to 5,000 words by month's end (although nowhere near their 50,000 goal).
Saturday, November 13, 2010
failure
Epic fail.
It's the halfway mark of November, and I should be nearing 24,000 words. I have 1381. Blah.
I can't seem to get going on this writing - and I hate having a deadline. I really thought I could discipline myself into writing each day - shoot, I gave up the 30 days of me after a few.
What's wrong with me?
On a lighter note, I have 40-ish days left until I go to Paris. Cannot wait. I may even start a Paris-countdown in my classroom...
Still throwing out story ideas... any help welcome if you're willing to comment or send me an email.
It's the halfway mark of November, and I should be nearing 24,000 words. I have 1381. Blah.
I can't seem to get going on this writing - and I hate having a deadline. I really thought I could discipline myself into writing each day - shoot, I gave up the 30 days of me after a few.
What's wrong with me?
On a lighter note, I have 40-ish days left until I go to Paris. Cannot wait. I may even start a Paris-countdown in my classroom...
Still throwing out story ideas... any help welcome if you're willing to comment or send me an email.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Feeling Down...
In the words of Dori from Finding Nemo, I should just "keep on swimmin'" but it's so unbelievably hard to do right now. I am sinking fast and feel like all the planning and all of the things I was doing early to prepare for the NaNoWriMo would allow me the time to write. Yeah, right. It seemed to only make things worse.
The 124 changed to three hundred and something, but in this day of all of the wonders of technology, it neglected to save... even though I know I clicked the save button. Twice.
I'm very discouraged. I shouldn't be because I have so much to look forward to. Only, all I see is negative. I don't have much support in the people who supposedly show leadership at my job. I have to contact a rather large group of parents of students who need to recover work (because in the lovely state of FL, being lazy is ok because you can always redo the work until you pass, no matter how many times you do it or choose not do it). I'm also very tired of the lying and passive aggressiveness of employees. Since when did we lose our professionalism and resort to the crap our students give us? I'm so over that and just might go off the handle on someone if it happens again.
I need to put on a happy face or get the heck outta dodge. Maybe Dorothy and I can fly over the rainbow together...
The 124 changed to three hundred and something, but in this day of all of the wonders of technology, it neglected to save... even though I know I clicked the save button. Twice.
I'm very discouraged. I shouldn't be because I have so much to look forward to. Only, all I see is negative. I don't have much support in the people who supposedly show leadership at my job. I have to contact a rather large group of parents of students who need to recover work (because in the lovely state of FL, being lazy is ok because you can always redo the work until you pass, no matter how many times you do it or choose not do it). I'm also very tired of the lying and passive aggressiveness of employees. Since when did we lose our professionalism and resort to the crap our students give us? I'm so over that and just might go off the handle on someone if it happens again.
I need to put on a happy face or get the heck outta dodge. Maybe Dorothy and I can fly over the rainbow together...
Monday, November 1, 2010
124
OH boy, this novel in a month thing is going to go REAL slow if all I have at the end of today is 124 words!
I need help!
I've got a few ideas in my head, so tell me what you think - anonymous comments welcome, but won't be posted unless they are constructive criticism.
Good Thing for Today: Got a lot done for work while students were testing. LOVE days where there's a lot of productivity before 3pm!
I need help!
I've got a few ideas in my head, so tell me what you think - anonymous comments welcome, but won't be posted unless they are constructive criticism.
- Voice - Somehow two or three characters will be woven together through the common theme of "voice." Could be a voice in the head, voice of other characters speaking to one, etc.
- Friends - A tale of two friends...Not sure where to go with that.
- YA - thought about a young adult book/fantasy. Nothing with medieval or dragons...
Good Thing for Today: Got a lot done for work while students were testing. LOVE days where there's a lot of productivity before 3pm!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Couldn't wait to get going...
So much to update and I'm not even sure where to begin...
Weight loss has been hit and miss. I've managed to go from 157 to 149. Not where I wanted to be by now, but it's not something I've been deeply interested in at the moment. Going to the gym is the last thing I want to do after work, especially with all of the crapola going on there!
I've got about 57 days to Paris! I can't believe it's so close yet still so far away. I've got the travel books out and plan on reading up on places to visit very very soon.
Lots of visits and such this week at work. Site visit from the "suits" this week, on top of various meetings, lesson planning, and suppressing the urge to strangle a specific person for being the most selfish and inconsiderate person known to humanity.
On the college front - you may be "looking" at the newest adjunct professor for the local college! I interview on the 9th of November and we'll talk logistics about teaching an entry level English class in January. I am keeping my fingers crossed it all works out. In the meantime, I may start tutoring after school for some Paris money... should be interesting.
No boys - no men - no time. I've decided to spend so much time on myself, I'm semi-sick of myself. HA. I would rather spend my time at home reading, curled up with Charley-dog, than anywhere else. I signed up to write a novel during the month of November, so I plan on spending a lot of time writing the novel (50,000 words!) and making trips to stock up on coffee/treats as rewards for doing the work. One problem - I have no clue what to write about yet, and it starts tomorrow!
I'm so satisfied with how things are working out in my life right now. I've still got some small financial issues, but those are being worked on and I try not to stress about something I can't entirely control.
Today's Good Thing: Spending time reflecting on what I want, acting on it, and enjoying a home-cooked meal that was delicious!
Weight loss has been hit and miss. I've managed to go from 157 to 149. Not where I wanted to be by now, but it's not something I've been deeply interested in at the moment. Going to the gym is the last thing I want to do after work, especially with all of the crapola going on there!
I've got about 57 days to Paris! I can't believe it's so close yet still so far away. I've got the travel books out and plan on reading up on places to visit very very soon.
Lots of visits and such this week at work. Site visit from the "suits" this week, on top of various meetings, lesson planning, and suppressing the urge to strangle a specific person for being the most selfish and inconsiderate person known to humanity.
On the college front - you may be "looking" at the newest adjunct professor for the local college! I interview on the 9th of November and we'll talk logistics about teaching an entry level English class in January. I am keeping my fingers crossed it all works out. In the meantime, I may start tutoring after school for some Paris money... should be interesting.
No boys - no men - no time. I've decided to spend so much time on myself, I'm semi-sick of myself. HA. I would rather spend my time at home reading, curled up with Charley-dog, than anywhere else. I signed up to write a novel during the month of November, so I plan on spending a lot of time writing the novel (50,000 words!) and making trips to stock up on coffee/treats as rewards for doing the work. One problem - I have no clue what to write about yet, and it starts tomorrow!
I'm so satisfied with how things are working out in my life right now. I've still got some small financial issues, but those are being worked on and I try not to stress about something I can't entirely control.
Today's Good Thing: Spending time reflecting on what I want, acting on it, and enjoying a home-cooked meal that was delicious!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Time in the Mitten
I absolutely loved every minute I spent in Michigan this past weekend. It was so surreal being home, especially after 2 years away, but I really enjoyed the people and time away from work.
I was also able to spend a lot of time contemplating a lot of things in my life. I know I think too much, but taking a step back this weekend has really rejuvenated my soul and has made my outlook on life a tad bit more positive. In fact, coming back today I received a comment from a co-worker who said I looked like I brought back the happiness and love of my family to FL and my spirit was awakened.
Visiting home after being gone for so long was tough. Tough, only because in my mind I think of home as one thing (past) and then see it in the present, which skews my perception of what my home should be. My parents are in the process of selling their house, so I know some of the staging is for selling, but going into what used to be my little brother's room to an empty slate was disappointing. I think they kept my room similar because I was visiting - come April, who knows if anything will be there...
I met my best friend's boyfriend/non-boyfriend. Such a sweet guy. I told her to tell him that I think he's "wholesome" because he loves his family (and spends time with them), has a good job, owns a house, makes time for his good buddies, and treats people with respect. There's been some speculation about him from another friend, but I didn't see anything that this friend has told my BFF. Sure, we all have a past, but why let that run our present and future? 
I had a run in with the credit union. My mom and I were out doing some errand-running and I really needed a little cash. I called my FL credit union to find a MI credit union that wouldn't deduct fees for withdrawing money. Found one nearby, but their ATM machine ATE my debit card! It was frustrating mess of calling my bank, getting the answer of "no" from them in my request for a fax to the MI bank to have them give me my card back. Turns out in the letter my bank sent me, the card was going to be deactivated ont he 8th because of some compromising situation with my account from a breach in security at a local restaurant. Well, I received the new debit card, but hadn't received the new PIN, so while I was waiting, I was using the old card. Woops. Lesson learned.Went to Kroger (LOVE this place) and tried purchasing some adult beverages. Who would have thought that the cashier was going to take my driver's license away. She just took it to the service desk to make sure it was valid because they are only trained to look at Michigan licenses. To some extent I understand this, but I feel like people should be familiar with them because people are known to travel.
Spent some time with my grandparents. They are the sweetest. I brought them some banana bread my mom made, and when I got there, we ate some bread and had some Michigan apple cider. That is one thing I truly miss about Michigan in the fall. The cider, donuts, and trip to the cider mill for a hay ride and pumpkins. {see clock picture - I want one. Where to find one for purchase?}
I also spent the day shopping with my best friend - and hung out one of the night's with her mom. I'm such a lucky person to have such a great friend, but to have a second mom - words can't express.
All in all, what a fabulous weekend. If only I didn't have to work - I'd move back to Michigan in a heartbeat.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Busy Busy Bee
I have barely been able to catch my breath long enough to pick up a book to read let alone catch up and post on this blog. It sometimes causes stress to my life (in small amounts) that I'm not always able to make time to reflect, think about the day, etc. Times like this make me wonder how I could ever include someone else in my life when all I do is related to work?
I'm so excited to be going back home for the weekend. I haven't been in 2 years (almost to the exact day) and really need the time away from my job and the workaholic syndrome I seem to have. Cannot wait for the time with friends, family, and time away from a computer. And Meijer.... yes, this now Southern gal misses Meijer (so much better than WM).
In the job front - I may be called "Professor" soon. Because I was so open with parents at Open House, a parent wrote on my little information card that he hires adjunct faculty at a local college and that I should call him. Well, I emailed him to find out when a good time would be to call, and later sent through my resume and college transcripts. He said he'll look into hiring me for a humanities or communication class. So exciting!
I still haven't been to the freelance writing group - almost every Saturday I have been going in to work since I can't seem to get caught up on anything while I am actually working. Students need my attention, union people need me for their concerns, etc. WAY too many impromptu bitch fests that I can only take so much of. I understand the need and their concerns and why they come to me, but I cannot be the sole person of reason with the administrators. I certainly can't go in to see my boss and tell her what to do - very hard to remain professional and supportive of the members when I also need to maintain my job security.
Financial dilemmas - who knew that the day would come and my entire savings would be depleted. Yes, it was one of the worst days ever. I had to pay for a flat tire (cha-ching on the credit card), a tow bill, RENT, you name it. I called my parents crying over it because I haven't been in this type of a situation since my freshman year in college when I thought money grew on trees. I am so very grateful that my parents were able to loan me some money - and then the day the money order arrived, I found out that I was to receive a bonus for raising my student test scores. Their scores put me in the top 25% of the entire county, so I received a whopping bonus and didn't need my parent's money after all. Although, they were nice and told me to put it away for when I move to a new place and need to put dogface in the kennel while I'm enjoying Paris.
My parents are great (and not because of the money).
I thought it would be a good idea last week to sleep with the windows open. Well, the doctor has told me numerous times in the past when I have gone in for bronchitis-like symptoms, to keep the damn windows closed (yes, she swore at me). Well, I didn't listen because I'm trying to save some money in my air conditioning! Guess I should just crank the AC because now I'm sick and paying the price for wanting to breathe in some cooler air. Stupid pond/lake I live on.
That's all I have for now - I hope to share some pictures of the far far North with all of you upon my return. It's too bad that I have to pack 4 days worth of stuff into a backpack... What am I going to do without my CHI?
I'm so excited to be going back home for the weekend. I haven't been in 2 years (almost to the exact day) and really need the time away from my job and the workaholic syndrome I seem to have. Cannot wait for the time with friends, family, and time away from a computer. And Meijer.... yes, this now Southern gal misses Meijer (so much better than WM).
In the job front - I may be called "Professor" soon. Because I was so open with parents at Open House, a parent wrote on my little information card that he hires adjunct faculty at a local college and that I should call him. Well, I emailed him to find out when a good time would be to call, and later sent through my resume and college transcripts. He said he'll look into hiring me for a humanities or communication class. So exciting!
I still haven't been to the freelance writing group - almost every Saturday I have been going in to work since I can't seem to get caught up on anything while I am actually working. Students need my attention, union people need me for their concerns, etc. WAY too many impromptu bitch fests that I can only take so much of. I understand the need and their concerns and why they come to me, but I cannot be the sole person of reason with the administrators. I certainly can't go in to see my boss and tell her what to do - very hard to remain professional and supportive of the members when I also need to maintain my job security.
Financial dilemmas - who knew that the day would come and my entire savings would be depleted. Yes, it was one of the worst days ever. I had to pay for a flat tire (cha-ching on the credit card), a tow bill, RENT, you name it. I called my parents crying over it because I haven't been in this type of a situation since my freshman year in college when I thought money grew on trees. I am so very grateful that my parents were able to loan me some money - and then the day the money order arrived, I found out that I was to receive a bonus for raising my student test scores. Their scores put me in the top 25% of the entire county, so I received a whopping bonus and didn't need my parent's money after all. Although, they were nice and told me to put it away for when I move to a new place and need to put dogface in the kennel while I'm enjoying Paris.
My parents are great (and not because of the money).
I thought it would be a good idea last week to sleep with the windows open. Well, the doctor has told me numerous times in the past when I have gone in for bronchitis-like symptoms, to keep the damn windows closed (yes, she swore at me). Well, I didn't listen because I'm trying to save some money in my air conditioning! Guess I should just crank the AC because now I'm sick and paying the price for wanting to breathe in some cooler air. Stupid pond/lake I live on.
That's all I have for now - I hope to share some pictures of the far far North with all of you upon my return. It's too bad that I have to pack 4 days worth of stuff into a backpack... What am I going to do without my CHI?
Monday, September 27, 2010
So much going on...
I am struggling, in all sorts of ways. I'm a a crossroads in my life where I am trying to figure out where to go next. Where will my job take me if I stay where I am currently teaching? Will I become an administrator? Will I be able to do what I do now in another city? State? I'm also struggling financially - I have only been in a similar situation to where I am now when I was in college for my undergraduate degree. I thought it was bad then, but it's really bad now. Let's just say the cable bill was sliced (thank goodness I still have some reality tv to numb my brain), the Internet will soon say goodbye (don't really need it except to play games, surf facebook, and check emails, which I can do at work), I also have found a cheaper apartment that I will soon tour to see if they are really for me (same sq. ft. as I have now, but 200 less per month).
Now for the fun stuff [insert sarcasm]: I have lost about 5 pounds in a little over a month. Sure, losing it slow is supposedly the way to go, but it isn't coming off fast enough for me! The up-side to this... a co-worker came up to me today to tell me that she has noticed that I'm losing weight. The dark side of my brain wants to think "is she saying this because she is noticing or because she knows I'm going nowhere fast and wants to make me feel better?"
Work just plain sucks. I have people coming at me from all angles to discuss things that I'm supposed to know the answers to, but don't. Who would always want to hear "I don't know, I'll look it up and get back to you" or "Here's how I would handle it, but you may want to hold off on answering until you get all of the information."
Gag.
Maybe I'm just a big pity pot of crap right now - to which I think we all go through. But can I ask why in the world it all seems to be happening at once?
And the one place I thought I could go this week to renew my spirit and trust in something higher than me - asked the entire church to empty their pockets in donation this week, and all I had was a quarter.
Now for the fun stuff [insert sarcasm]: I have lost about 5 pounds in a little over a month. Sure, losing it slow is supposedly the way to go, but it isn't coming off fast enough for me! The up-side to this... a co-worker came up to me today to tell me that she has noticed that I'm losing weight. The dark side of my brain wants to think "is she saying this because she is noticing or because she knows I'm going nowhere fast and wants to make me feel better?"
Work just plain sucks. I have people coming at me from all angles to discuss things that I'm supposed to know the answers to, but don't. Who would always want to hear "I don't know, I'll look it up and get back to you" or "Here's how I would handle it, but you may want to hold off on answering until you get all of the information."
Gag.
Maybe I'm just a big pity pot of crap right now - to which I think we all go through. But can I ask why in the world it all seems to be happening at once?
And the one place I thought I could go this week to renew my spirit and trust in something higher than me - asked the entire church to empty their pockets in donation this week, and all I had was a quarter.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Communicate!
How hard is it really for people to communicate with one another?
I find myself asking this quite often, as we (myself and co-workers) get our panties in a wad because of issues that could be resolved if people would just express in a direct and respectful manner what's bothering them and see if offering up a solution would end the problem.
Not where I work.
Yes, I love my job. (I'm not lying). It does come with added stress, being a teacher, but I do genuinely love it. I really have a sick taste in my mouth for those who continue to come to work when all they do is complain. It drags others down with you and makes the day even longer than it should be. I will confess, I do complain and do express my complaints, but I do try (key word, try) to find the positive in the situation.
The same goes for communication in my personal life. I thought I was being honest in saying that I wanted to take a step back from the 10-day relationship I previously ended. I get a text today from said guy that says "R we speaking today?"
I didn't realize that when you break up with someone that you continue speaking to them; however, I have done this with guys who I was/am on good terms. Well, I responded with "Why are you being like that?" and he replied "Like what... i was just wondering how u felt about me today...lol"
Didn't I tell you this about 2 weeks ago? Do guys just not listen to anything you tell them? Or clean up after themselves? (found a beer bottle cap behind my post-its 2 weeks later, when there's a garbage can underneath my desk). Second confession, I did call him last Friday to see how he was doing... I need to stop doing that.
Maybe the man-cleaning thing is enough for a separate post...
My All Good Things moment for today: Taking Charley to get his toenails clipped and treating him to some goodies for being such a good travel buddy in the car. It's so nice not having to clean up after his messes, especially while driving.
I find myself asking this quite often, as we (myself and co-workers) get our panties in a wad because of issues that could be resolved if people would just express in a direct and respectful manner what's bothering them and see if offering up a solution would end the problem.
Not where I work.
Yes, I love my job. (I'm not lying). It does come with added stress, being a teacher, but I do genuinely love it. I really have a sick taste in my mouth for those who continue to come to work when all they do is complain. It drags others down with you and makes the day even longer than it should be. I will confess, I do complain and do express my complaints, but I do try (key word, try) to find the positive in the situation.
The same goes for communication in my personal life. I thought I was being honest in saying that I wanted to take a step back from the 10-day relationship I previously ended. I get a text today from said guy that says "R we speaking today?"
I didn't realize that when you break up with someone that you continue speaking to them; however, I have done this with guys who I was/am on good terms. Well, I responded with "Why are you being like that?" and he replied "Like what... i was just wondering how u felt about me today...lol"
Didn't I tell you this about 2 weeks ago? Do guys just not listen to anything you tell them? Or clean up after themselves? (found a beer bottle cap behind my post-its 2 weeks later, when there's a garbage can underneath my desk). Second confession, I did call him last Friday to see how he was doing... I need to stop doing that.
Maybe the man-cleaning thing is enough for a separate post...
My All Good Things moment for today: Taking Charley to get his toenails clipped and treating him to some goodies for being such a good travel buddy in the car. It's so nice not having to clean up after his messes, especially while driving.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Happy Smiles and Happy Heart
Whoa, has this week been crazy hectic and stupid but with a happy ending.
I don't like discussing work-related items via my personal life journey, but it's a piece, regardless of my feelings about it. Well, after much discussion, I got NOWHERE with my superiors in fixing the mess we call a schedule. My hands are tied and my bosses aren't doing anything illegal, so there isn't any reason (according to them) to fix something they don't see is entirely broken. LAME.
I've also been dealing with a dog that wakes up and pisses alllllll over the place. This morning I woke up, got him out of his crate, filled his water dish and food bowl, put shoes on and realized he was peeing on the tile floor by the door. Sure, at least it was on the tile, but come on! I guess leaving the water bowl out at night is not a good idea anymore - who knew 3 years later it'd become a problem.
The now ex-bf and I are semi-talking, but it's more on a level of trying to understand one another. I think that's a large part/reason of why things went wrong. Granted, we technically dated for 10 whopping days... who knows. Maybe something will come out of it, maybe it won't. I am not holding my breath.
I have the best friends in the world. Friends who support me, help me in discussing things and friends who laugh with me about eating insects and stepping in cat puke. (don't ask).
To top off the whole week, I talked to my dad and he surprised me by buying me a plane ticket home. I've been wanting to go home so so bad and haven't been in 2 years. I really need some family time, hugs, and quality time with people I miss so dearly. The only semi-downer: I have to pack a weekend into a backpack.
Cheers to a great day!
I don't like discussing work-related items via my personal life journey, but it's a piece, regardless of my feelings about it. Well, after much discussion, I got NOWHERE with my superiors in fixing the mess we call a schedule. My hands are tied and my bosses aren't doing anything illegal, so there isn't any reason (according to them) to fix something they don't see is entirely broken. LAME.
I've also been dealing with a dog that wakes up and pisses alllllll over the place. This morning I woke up, got him out of his crate, filled his water dish and food bowl, put shoes on and realized he was peeing on the tile floor by the door. Sure, at least it was on the tile, but come on! I guess leaving the water bowl out at night is not a good idea anymore - who knew 3 years later it'd become a problem.
The now ex-bf and I are semi-talking, but it's more on a level of trying to understand one another. I think that's a large part/reason of why things went wrong. Granted, we technically dated for 10 whopping days... who knows. Maybe something will come out of it, maybe it won't. I am not holding my breath.
I have the best friends in the world. Friends who support me, help me in discussing things and friends who laugh with me about eating insects and stepping in cat puke. (don't ask).
To top off the whole week, I talked to my dad and he surprised me by buying me a plane ticket home. I've been wanting to go home so so bad and haven't been in 2 years. I really need some family time, hugs, and quality time with people I miss so dearly. The only semi-downer: I have to pack a weekend into a backpack.
Cheers to a great day!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Uncertainties
I feel like my life is full of uncertainties. Sure, we can't be 100% certain of what paths our lives will take, but the uncertainties are what make life interesting.
Case in point: receiving a text from new ex, stating that he feels like we made the right decision in not dating anymore, followed by another text stating he felt that the decision may have been a wrong one since we didn't give things enough time.
What did I say? Nothing. Nada. Zip. I kept my fingers from replying with a text, except to ask for my cd back.
In other areas of life, I feel like there are uncertainties with my happiness in my job. I wear a lot of hats. I do a lot of "extra" things, but it's primarily because I love what I do and I want others to take notice of those extra things. I know it won't earn me a raise or promotion, but it earns me small accolades with my superiors. One of my hats is in question, but only for me. I am the representative for a group of people who look to me to get items settled when members of the group are upset. This cuts down on the amount of people going to the boss and allows me to be a middleman of sorts. Well, I feel like I'm backed into a corner and I'm not sure how to get out of it without expressing some items to my boss that aren't appropriate. I know it isn't my place to express how people really feel, but it is my job to find a way to express it without losing my job or making the matter worse for all involved.
I'm in a pickle.
Thank goodness for long weekends and smoothies.
Case in point: receiving a text from new ex, stating that he feels like we made the right decision in not dating anymore, followed by another text stating he felt that the decision may have been a wrong one since we didn't give things enough time.
What did I say? Nothing. Nada. Zip. I kept my fingers from replying with a text, except to ask for my cd back.
In other areas of life, I feel like there are uncertainties with my happiness in my job. I wear a lot of hats. I do a lot of "extra" things, but it's primarily because I love what I do and I want others to take notice of those extra things. I know it won't earn me a raise or promotion, but it earns me small accolades with my superiors. One of my hats is in question, but only for me. I am the representative for a group of people who look to me to get items settled when members of the group are upset. This cuts down on the amount of people going to the boss and allows me to be a middleman of sorts. Well, I feel like I'm backed into a corner and I'm not sure how to get out of it without expressing some items to my boss that aren't appropriate. I know it isn't my place to express how people really feel, but it is my job to find a way to express it without losing my job or making the matter worse for all involved.
I'm in a pickle.
Thank goodness for long weekends and smoothies.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
That Didn't Last Very Long...
I am a single lady again and I'm perfectly content with that. I had a long talk last night with some good friends before and after the chat with the now ex, and I was rushing into everything. We didn't know one another well enough to start exclusively dating 2 days after we met. I told him I felt I needed to take a step back and he said that he couldn't do that.
I'm not worried about that so much - he just has a CD and t-shirt I want back, but if that's what I have to lose out of a week long "relationship" then that's what I lose.
I'm semi-sad but glad things ended now and not 6 months down the road when we both could have had more feelings.
Back to the drawing board...
I'm not worried about that so much - he just has a CD and t-shirt I want back, but if that's what I have to lose out of a week long "relationship" then that's what I lose.
I'm semi-sad but glad things ended now and not 6 months down the road when we both could have had more feelings.
Back to the drawing board...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Things That Make Me Go HMMMM...
I just completed my weekly weigh in (which I wanted to do before church, but I slept in and now I'm running late for my other Sunday items), but felt the need to get this out of my mind. I've done what I'm supposed to do with eating better, drinking a gallon or more of water a day, trying not to drink anything else, and making sure I track my food. Well, this last week was a learning curve because I went back to work full-time with my students and needed to get into a routine so I wouldn't eat in front of hungry teens. Well, I lost 0.9 this week. I really felt like I would have lost more. My mom tells me it's better to lose smaller amounts of weight to make sure it does stay off, so I'm going to keep that little nugget of information in the back of my mind.
I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't get up in time for church. You may think that I had time since I'm writing in this blog right now, but I really enjoy the 8am mass. I was just out too late last night with my new boyfriend at a bar watching the UFC fights and then playing video games to be able to wake up in time to get church-worthy and go. *sigh.
In other news, the Paris trip is coming up even faster than I thought it would. I've got to break out the travel guides again and figure out what to do in London and Paris while I'm not with the tour groups. Anyone have any ideas?
My All Good Things for this last week: Learning more about myself now that I'm sharing my time with another and getting a pedicure that cured the ailments of my toes.
I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't get up in time for church. You may think that I had time since I'm writing in this blog right now, but I really enjoy the 8am mass. I was just out too late last night with my new boyfriend at a bar watching the UFC fights and then playing video games to be able to wake up in time to get church-worthy and go. *sigh.
In other news, the Paris trip is coming up even faster than I thought it would. I've got to break out the travel guides again and figure out what to do in London and Paris while I'm not with the tour groups. Anyone have any ideas?
My All Good Things for this last week: Learning more about myself now that I'm sharing my time with another and getting a pedicure that cured the ailments of my toes.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Relationship Status
OH BOY. Oh boy...
My old college roomie came to visit this past weekend and we painted the town red! It was so nice to hang out with her, chat, make wonderful food, and be able to do whatever we wanted without a timeframe. What a perfect ending to our summer vacation.
I met a boy while eating out with my old roomie - he sat down next to me, asked if the seat was taken by someone else and then we ended up talking the night away. (Keep in mind, my roomie was talking with a much older gentleman to her right, and he was a sweetheart, so I wasn't ignoring her). We chatted with the much older gentleman most of the early evening, chatted with the owner of a vodka company (who makes a great vodka) and with the handsome man to my left.
Saturday's events turned into a lot of chatting on Sunday, and last night he came over for an impromptu spaghetti dinner. (YES, I cooked and didn't burn anything. Such a proud moment). We talked about all kinds of things, what we want in life, where we see ourselves in the next few years, played a friendly game of Battleship (I won!) and enjoyed each other's company. Too bad it was a school night...
We talked about dating and what we would like to see in our dating lives and decided to make it official and change our facebook status messages to show we are in a relationship... Scary, right? Not so much. I've got a calm and excited feeling about it. Not just because it's all in the new stages, but because it's out of the ordinary and I like that. I know people say you change as you get "older" and you make decisions now that you may not have made a few years prior. No way would I have thought that I would have had the privilege of meeting a guy at a restaurant/bar and would be facebook linked on Monday evening.
I guess I'm falling in love with myself more and more as the days go on...
In other news - first two days of school have been great so far. I'm a little concerned with the size of my classes, but it should level out soon. Please cross your fingers for me and our school. Sure, we love that we all have jobs but with an overcrowded problem and a mandated class size requirement, it's a little bit zoo-like.
I'm sure you're all guessing what my All Good Things moment of happiness is: You guessed it - just being happy with how everything has been falling together in an unpredictable yet wonderful way (along with dancing in my living room).
My old college roomie came to visit this past weekend and we painted the town red! It was so nice to hang out with her, chat, make wonderful food, and be able to do whatever we wanted without a timeframe. What a perfect ending to our summer vacation.
I met a boy while eating out with my old roomie - he sat down next to me, asked if the seat was taken by someone else and then we ended up talking the night away. (Keep in mind, my roomie was talking with a much older gentleman to her right, and he was a sweetheart, so I wasn't ignoring her). We chatted with the much older gentleman most of the early evening, chatted with the owner of a vodka company (who makes a great vodka) and with the handsome man to my left.
Saturday's events turned into a lot of chatting on Sunday, and last night he came over for an impromptu spaghetti dinner. (YES, I cooked and didn't burn anything. Such a proud moment). We talked about all kinds of things, what we want in life, where we see ourselves in the next few years, played a friendly game of Battleship (I won!) and enjoyed each other's company. Too bad it was a school night...
We talked about dating and what we would like to see in our dating lives and decided to make it official and change our facebook status messages to show we are in a relationship... Scary, right? Not so much. I've got a calm and excited feeling about it. Not just because it's all in the new stages, but because it's out of the ordinary and I like that. I know people say you change as you get "older" and you make decisions now that you may not have made a few years prior. No way would I have thought that I would have had the privilege of meeting a guy at a restaurant/bar and would be facebook linked on Monday evening.
I guess I'm falling in love with myself more and more as the days go on...
In other news - first two days of school have been great so far. I'm a little concerned with the size of my classes, but it should level out soon. Please cross your fingers for me and our school. Sure, we love that we all have jobs but with an overcrowded problem and a mandated class size requirement, it's a little bit zoo-like.
I'm sure you're all guessing what my All Good Things moment of happiness is: You guessed it - just being happy with how everything has been falling together in an unpredictable yet wonderful way (along with dancing in my living room).
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Absence
makes the heart grow fonder.
I've been a little absent from the blog-writing world, not by anything life-changing or disasterous. I've been spending a lot of time contemplating the choices I've made recently in my life, with my diet, and with the items I want to pursue for the future. It's tough. I'm not making decisions without thinking thoroughly, and have decided that I really want to work hard at not having to work hard. How to do that?
I haven't figured that out as of yet.
But, I am trying.
I went to a movie today, which is rare. Eat, Pray, Love was a good movie for me. It brought back memories and quotes and lovely items from the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. I will most likely pick this book back up and re-read all of the tagged pages, notes, stickies, etc., and relish in the simplistic nature Elizabeth has and her journey to find herself. I only wish I could afford to take a year off to travel the world...
My decision to go to church last week wasn't a fluke that will be forgotten or a passing event where I'll say that I'll go later. I have made the commitment to going each Sunday. I enjoyed last week's homily on recalculating and really took it to heart. I semi-prioritized what was important to me in accomplishing this week. Although I worked on my own time, I was able to get my classroom pretty much ready to go (minus some purchasing of some small things, but that involves money that I don't have, so it's going to wait). However, I do love the outcome of the room that I will be spending the next 180 days in.
I took the term recalculating to mean a lot of things, but it really hit home that I'm not making the things that really matter to me my top priority. I realize I can't do this all of the time, and that's perfectly ok. I know that starting weight watchers is a way for me to recalculate my weight and mindset to become healhier, both physically and emotionally.
So much has happened in the past week that I am taking it all in and allowing myself to go with the flow, recalculate when necessary, and enjoy the special moments.
Today's All the Good Things: Calling my grandma because I felt a pressing desire/need to hear her voice, being told I'm special, hearing her laugh and sing the hamster song, and telling her I love her. I didn't realize it was her birthday until after the call...although I felt bad about not wishing her a happy birthday, I believe she knows just how special she is.
I've been a little absent from the blog-writing world, not by anything life-changing or disasterous. I've been spending a lot of time contemplating the choices I've made recently in my life, with my diet, and with the items I want to pursue for the future. It's tough. I'm not making decisions without thinking thoroughly, and have decided that I really want to work hard at not having to work hard. How to do that?
I haven't figured that out as of yet.
But, I am trying.
I went to a movie today, which is rare. Eat, Pray, Love was a good movie for me. It brought back memories and quotes and lovely items from the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. I will most likely pick this book back up and re-read all of the tagged pages, notes, stickies, etc., and relish in the simplistic nature Elizabeth has and her journey to find herself. I only wish I could afford to take a year off to travel the world...
My decision to go to church last week wasn't a fluke that will be forgotten or a passing event where I'll say that I'll go later. I have made the commitment to going each Sunday. I enjoyed last week's homily on recalculating and really took it to heart. I semi-prioritized what was important to me in accomplishing this week. Although I worked on my own time, I was able to get my classroom pretty much ready to go (minus some purchasing of some small things, but that involves money that I don't have, so it's going to wait). However, I do love the outcome of the room that I will be spending the next 180 days in.
I took the term recalculating to mean a lot of things, but it really hit home that I'm not making the things that really matter to me my top priority. I realize I can't do this all of the time, and that's perfectly ok. I know that starting weight watchers is a way for me to recalculate my weight and mindset to become healhier, both physically and emotionally.
So much has happened in the past week that I am taking it all in and allowing myself to go with the flow, recalculate when necessary, and enjoy the special moments.
Today's All the Good Things: Calling my grandma because I felt a pressing desire/need to hear her voice, being told I'm special, hearing her laugh and sing the hamster song, and telling her I love her. I didn't realize it was her birthday until after the call...although I felt bad about not wishing her a happy birthday, I believe she knows just how special she is.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Recalculating
The term "recalculating" really hit home with me today. I went to a church near my home that I've been eyeing for a while. I wasn't really sure if I wanted to be alone/go alone, but today I got up early, completed a morning workout and then went to the 8am mass.
The Pastor talked about the term, recalculating, in regard to a GPS and how we are aggravated when we hear that tinny voice say the word. Yet, we have to realize that recalculating our journey is something that can only make us stronger people, both in life, and in faith. Seemed to be a fitting sermon on a day I was recalculating my own journey.
I'm so glad I went.
The Pastor talked about the term, recalculating, in regard to a GPS and how we are aggravated when we hear that tinny voice say the word. Yet, we have to realize that recalculating our journey is something that can only make us stronger people, both in life, and in faith. Seemed to be a fitting sermon on a day I was recalculating my own journey.
I'm so glad I went.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Day 1 of WW
Yes, I did it. I joined Weight Watchers Online. I was fortunate enough to sign up when their sign-up fee was 1$ and couldn't pass that up. I broke even on what the fee would have been and bought a scale. I think this will be such a good start/reboot that I so desperately need. I want to be a more healthy woman and feel great in the clothes I wear (which I don't always).
So, to hold myself a little more accountable, I'm going to post my start weight and occasional marks as I go along. It'll be a struggle, but I'm hoping all of you readers will cheer me on (and I'll cheer you on too).
Starting weight: 157
Goal weight: 130
I don't want to be unrealistic, but I hope to have the weight off by the end of my three-month subscription. We shall see come November 7th!
I just have to keep telling myself "I can (and will) do this."
Today's All the Good Things: Believing in myself and doing the right things to make myself happy.
So, to hold myself a little more accountable, I'm going to post my start weight and occasional marks as I go along. It'll be a struggle, but I'm hoping all of you readers will cheer me on (and I'll cheer you on too).
Starting weight: 157
Goal weight: 130
I don't want to be unrealistic, but I hope to have the weight off by the end of my three-month subscription. We shall see come November 7th!
I just have to keep telling myself "I can (and will) do this."
Today's All the Good Things: Believing in myself and doing the right things to make myself happy.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Funk.
I have been in quite the funk for the past week or so. Nothing major, but nothing out of the ordinary. It's a toss between being excited for a new year to start, preparing for that first day of school, and not wanting to go back to work because I enjoy reading books and hanging out at home. I've also been working on the WFMAD that Laurie Halse Anderson does each August. She provides prompts each day and encourages people to write for 15 minutes a day, hence the WFMAD acronym.
I'm just the hardest critic on myself. I want to know what will happen next, if I'll move, and all sorts of life events. But...I'm not a psychic. I have to find a way to be happy with how things are, because I really don't have anything to complain about. I have a great trip to look forward to in December, a good friend will be visiting in a few weeks for a long weekend, and I'm healthy. I just need to get out of this funk.
OWL is working good. I'm eating healthy meals 4-5 times a day and I'm working out each day for an average of 30-45 minutes on the exercise bike and/or stair elliptical machine. My motivation mix helps determine how long I've worked out, which is a great kick in the rear to get my rear moving.
Today's All Good Things: Spending my time enjoying a great lunch, a nap, and hanging out with Charley-dog.
I'm just the hardest critic on myself. I want to know what will happen next, if I'll move, and all sorts of life events. But...I'm not a psychic. I have to find a way to be happy with how things are, because I really don't have anything to complain about. I have a great trip to look forward to in December, a good friend will be visiting in a few weeks for a long weekend, and I'm healthy. I just need to get out of this funk.
OWL is working good. I'm eating healthy meals 4-5 times a day and I'm working out each day for an average of 30-45 minutes on the exercise bike and/or stair elliptical machine. My motivation mix helps determine how long I've worked out, which is a great kick in the rear to get my rear moving.
Today's All Good Things: Spending my time enjoying a great lunch, a nap, and hanging out with Charley-dog.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Bad
I have been so blah lately and haven't had much to write about. It's been a stressful couple of days with work-related concerns and duties I must fulfill, even while on summer vacation. Makes it tough to stay away from work when you're one of those people who must remain in contact when/if things happen.
I've been semi-given an assignment from my boss. I was asking for her opinion on a class I have to teach (which I dreaded last year) and want to make it more meaningful this year. Well, since the curriculum they provided us is for the HEALTH department to teach (and I'm ELA), I thought a service learning approach would be more beneficial. I found a good resource book and my boss gave me a gift card to go purchase said book.
Now, what to do with this book that doesn't make me look like a suck up and people hate my lesson plans for this class that other teachers must also teach. Makes me go "hmmmmm." So, it's off to a coffee shop to plan stuff out.
In the meantime, I'm going purple! Each year I buy a bag and semi-matching accessories. {Cannot find a picture of the bag that will allow me to get it into this post... If you go to Target and look for the Merona Tote - Purple, that's what I purchased. Other two images courtesy of B&N.com}. Kinda lame, yes, but it keeps me organized. Now I must find a purple pencil/pen pouch... and then I can start pulling lessons out of thin air. TGIF.
I've been semi-given an assignment from my boss. I was asking for her opinion on a class I have to teach (which I dreaded last year) and want to make it more meaningful this year. Well, since the curriculum they provided us is for the HEALTH department to teach (and I'm ELA), I thought a service learning approach would be more beneficial. I found a good resource book and my boss gave me a gift card to go purchase said book.
Now, what to do with this book that doesn't make me look like a suck up and people hate my lesson plans for this class that other teachers must also teach. Makes me go "hmmmmm." So, it's off to a coffee shop to plan stuff out.
In the meantime, I'm going purple! Each year I buy a bag and semi-matching accessories. {Cannot find a picture of the bag that will allow me to get it into this post... If you go to Target and look for the Merona Tote - Purple, that's what I purchased. Other two images courtesy of B&N.com}. Kinda lame, yes, but it keeps me organized. Now I must find a purple pencil/pen pouch... and then I can start pulling lessons out of thin air. TGIF.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Traveling, Part 2
I told you I couldn't put the book down! Although I haven't finished it, I'm well on my way. The need for sleep got to me and falling asleep on the couch, sitting up, wasn't an option. ( I wrote this on day 2. I finished it the next morning over my english muffin and rice milk). This post isn't really themed or in any particular order - just some quotes I pulled out and had a desire to share.
"And because Mary possessed so much power as a female, it had to trickle down and empower women at least some, giving them new ways to see themselves." p. 96
Although the context of the first quote has nothing to do specifically with my experiences, I was very involved in reading the book and tying myself in, like I was one part Sue and one part Ann. I like to believe that females have power. Granted, I'm not a feminist by any means, but knowing I am strong and have power over myself, is all that matters.
--------------------------------
"Persephone never saw Hades coming. She was jerked out of her nice, sweet life and plunged into a dark underworld. On one level, she was abducted into her own depths, forced into a deep and painful confrontation with herself. Yet the time she spent in the underworld is precisely what transforms her from a naive, untested girl into a mature and conscious young woman. I reread the part of the myth in which Persephone eats the pomegranate seeds. Is that the moment she accepts the complexity of her experience and really takes it in? I wonder: instead of retrating and hiding, instead of pining for the way it was, what if I accept the way it is? This strikes me as both the most obvious thing in the world and the most profound." p. 83
The question in purple is what "got" to me while reading. My entire life has been a mess of saying one thing and doing another, where I'm hiding from myself and from the outside world, but at the same time I'm putting on a show. There are days where I still do this. I wish I had things like they were back in K-12 years or in college when I had the opportunity to go out each Thursday night with some amazing girls. The list could go on - I do miss a lot of things, but I realize those things have shaped me into who I am now. I just need to accept things the way that they are, but have the strength to try to change them to suit my current needs - which is the difficult part.
--------------------------------
"...I read a poem by David Whyte with four lines that nearly stopped my heart:
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
I question my interpretation of this, primarily because I can see the real and imaginary part of this quote. We only have one world, yet in this world there are mini-worlds or our expectations, families, careers, etc. I didn't give up my family world for my career, but I can see how others may see this, considering I live 1300 miles away (or more) from the majority of my family. I don't know what world I belong in - that's part of the journey I'm on with this blog. I'm not sure where to go from there...
--------------------------------
"Tonight, when I climb into bed in our hotel room, I will realize those lines are my "St. Michael" voice, spelling out my mission: find the world to which I belong." p. 153
"And because Mary possessed so much power as a female, it had to trickle down and empower women at least some, giving them new ways to see themselves." p. 96
Although the context of the first quote has nothing to do specifically with my experiences, I was very involved in reading the book and tying myself in, like I was one part Sue and one part Ann. I like to believe that females have power. Granted, I'm not a feminist by any means, but knowing I am strong and have power over myself, is all that matters.
--------------------------------
"Persephone never saw Hades coming. She was jerked out of her nice, sweet life and plunged into a dark underworld. On one level, she was abducted into her own depths, forced into a deep and painful confrontation with herself. Yet the time she spent in the underworld is precisely what transforms her from a naive, untested girl into a mature and conscious young woman. I reread the part of the myth in which Persephone eats the pomegranate seeds. Is that the moment she accepts the complexity of her experience and really takes it in? I wonder: instead of retrating and hiding, instead of pining for the way it was, what if I accept the way it is? This strikes me as both the most obvious thing in the world and the most profound." p. 83
The question in purple is what "got" to me while reading. My entire life has been a mess of saying one thing and doing another, where I'm hiding from myself and from the outside world, but at the same time I'm putting on a show. There are days where I still do this. I wish I had things like they were back in K-12 years or in college when I had the opportunity to go out each Thursday night with some amazing girls. The list could go on - I do miss a lot of things, but I realize those things have shaped me into who I am now. I just need to accept things the way that they are, but have the strength to try to change them to suit my current needs - which is the difficult part.
--------------------------------
"...I read a poem by David Whyte with four lines that nearly stopped my heart:
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
I question my interpretation of this, primarily because I can see the real and imaginary part of this quote. We only have one world, yet in this world there are mini-worlds or our expectations, families, careers, etc. I didn't give up my family world for my career, but I can see how others may see this, considering I live 1300 miles away (or more) from the majority of my family. I don't know what world I belong in - that's part of the journey I'm on with this blog. I'm not sure where to go from there...
--------------------------------
"Tonight, when I climb into bed in our hotel room, I will realize those lines are my "St. Michael" voice, spelling out my mission: find the world to which I belong." p. 153
Friday, July 23, 2010
Spirituality
Another quote from Traveling with Pomegranates:
"It's been easy to admit to myself recently that I need some new aspect within my spirituality, one that could take me into the next phase of my life. Uncovering this need has been like finding an empty room in the center of my house, one I didn't know was there, one I couldn't pass without feeling its vacuity and wondering how it should be filled." p. 47-8
I struggle with the idea of being spiritual and attending church. Growing up, my parents didn't force us (my brothers and I) to go to church for anything, unless it was a family wedding, baptism, etc. In fact, I was the only child to be baptized in my immediate family. I haven't ever asked my parents why my brothers weren't baptized, but I do wonder.
I am all for believing in a higher power. I believe prayer works. I also believe having the inner peace this spiritual feeling has is immense and joyous. I'm just not sure that church is the perfect* way to be a spiritual person. Hence, why I struggle.
*perfect is a term relative to my current life circumstances. I understand that not everyone feels or believes this, which is their right.
I went through the RCIA process a few years ago because I truly thought I'd marry R. The journey through RCIA is not something I'll forget, nor the people I met along the journey. I enjoyed the contemporary service geared toward the college students and the sense of purpose I felt in going to church each week (sometimes more than once a week). I've only been in a church a handful of times in the past few years, only for weddings. I'm not sure I really understand why I haven't been. It's certainly not because there aren't churches near where I live. I think it may have a sense of not feeling as though I belong. Realistically, I know that entering a church once doesn't mean I belong there, or that not entering and just showing up the first time means I'm a member, etc. I really think that I want to have the spirituality part of believing in higher powers, prayer, and some aspects of religion, I just don't want what I see as "extra" stuff. I don't sit and read the bible and meditate on passages or sing hymns and I don't know that I'd be 100% comfortable in a bible study. Maybe, I need to just suck it up and go so I can get off my half-horse and determine what it is that I feel I'm missing.
"Sending prayers into the universe. Are they heard? Can they change anything? Are our supplications a form of magical thinking? I don't know the answers...I wish to shape my needs into specific, well-considered words and offer them to my own particular image of the Loving Mystery, believing like a wise child." p.98
Is there a place for people like me, who don't want the "extra" stuff but want the feeling of belonging and spiritual peace?
Day 28 of All Good Things: Picked up a teacher resource book I ordered. Spent the day at the bookstore, enjoying a red tea latte, immersed in learning new tricks of the trade. Thank goodness for Friday.
"It's been easy to admit to myself recently that I need some new aspect within my spirituality, one that could take me into the next phase of my life. Uncovering this need has been like finding an empty room in the center of my house, one I didn't know was there, one I couldn't pass without feeling its vacuity and wondering how it should be filled." p. 47-8
I struggle with the idea of being spiritual and attending church. Growing up, my parents didn't force us (my brothers and I) to go to church for anything, unless it was a family wedding, baptism, etc. In fact, I was the only child to be baptized in my immediate family. I haven't ever asked my parents why my brothers weren't baptized, but I do wonder.
I am all for believing in a higher power. I believe prayer works. I also believe having the inner peace this spiritual feeling has is immense and joyous. I'm just not sure that church is the perfect* way to be a spiritual person. Hence, why I struggle.
*perfect is a term relative to my current life circumstances. I understand that not everyone feels or believes this, which is their right.
I went through the RCIA process a few years ago because I truly thought I'd marry R. The journey through RCIA is not something I'll forget, nor the people I met along the journey. I enjoyed the contemporary service geared toward the college students and the sense of purpose I felt in going to church each week (sometimes more than once a week). I've only been in a church a handful of times in the past few years, only for weddings. I'm not sure I really understand why I haven't been. It's certainly not because there aren't churches near where I live. I think it may have a sense of not feeling as though I belong. Realistically, I know that entering a church once doesn't mean I belong there, or that not entering and just showing up the first time means I'm a member, etc. I really think that I want to have the spirituality part of believing in higher powers, prayer, and some aspects of religion, I just don't want what I see as "extra" stuff. I don't sit and read the bible and meditate on passages or sing hymns and I don't know that I'd be 100% comfortable in a bible study. Maybe, I need to just suck it up and go so I can get off my half-horse and determine what it is that I feel I'm missing.
"Sending prayers into the universe. Are they heard? Can they change anything? Are our supplications a form of magical thinking? I don't know the answers...I wish to shape my needs into specific, well-considered words and offer them to my own particular image of the Loving Mystery, believing like a wise child." p.98
Is there a place for people like me, who don't want the "extra" stuff but want the feeling of belonging and spiritual peace?
Day 28 of All Good Things: Picked up a teacher resource book I ordered. Spent the day at the bookstore, enjoying a red tea latte, immersed in learning new tricks of the trade. Thank goodness for Friday.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Traveling...
with Pomegranates.
Ok - I've had my fill of Jen Lancaster books (for the time being - mainly because I don't have the remaining two, but that's beside the point).
I have rattan-type boxes on the bottom shelf of each of my bedside tables loaded with books that take precedence over my two large bookcases in the living room. I pulled out one of the boxes and retrieved the book, Traveling with Pomegranates by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor. (Did you read The Secret Life of Bees? FABULOUS book, FYI).
This book hits the relationship I have with my mom to a capital T. Sue starts out the book writing about her approaching 50th birthday (my mom is just a few years past that milestone), who looks at her grown daugther and reflects on her life and the relationship they share. Sue describes events in Ann's life about college graduation, how their relationship was once so close and now it's slightly strained because the entire truth isn't revealed, and their trip to Greece. I can't say that my mom and I are planning on going to Greece, but I've done a lot of what Ann has, as I'm sure my mom has with my moving away and my attempt at "finding who I am" as an adult and not just as her daughter.
I've only just begun reading this and can't put it down. A quote really hit me in regard to those dreaded ex-boyfriends in my life. To set the scene, Ann first recounts her past and then describes a new relationship and how different this is in from those in her past, but for the better:
"Maybe it was because I was far from home, far from my ordinary circumstances, and more or less alone for the first time in my life, feeling like I was on an awkward first date with myself. I'd known who I was with my ex-boyfriend. I'd invested years in the girlfriend role, in the ways of accommodation, being what I thought he wanted me to be, moon to his Jupiter, quietly organizing my psychological orbits around him...p25...Don't ever lose yourself again. And I was vigilant. If I wanted to browse a bookstore or walk the beach instead of watching his tennis match, I did. I realized that not losing myself wasn't only about how we spent time, though; it was about the way I valued myself within the relationship." p. 34
Although I'm not in a relationship at the moment (and I'm quite satisfied with how things are) I am slowing becoming more and more comfortable with doing what makes me happy. I don't plan on losing myself. In reading this novel thus far, I'm 100% content with knowing that doing what I love and then sharing myself in someone else's life is a gift - I'm not going to be a doting, accommodating girlfriend, wife, etc. We all need our own niche in life, and taking strolls alone to be able to come together to share something is what I'm looking for.
Can't wait to see what the rest of the novel brings out of me.........
Day 27 of All Good Things: Coming home after a writing workshop to a clean apartment with a notice of a book delivery in my mailbox.
P.S. Operation weight loss (OWL) is going great! Each day I've completed 25 minutes on the elliptical machine, which claims that I burned 380 calories with 1150 steps (roughly). Although a little skeptical, my heartrate is high and I sweat like a pig, so it's all good. Haven't weighed myself, but my clothes are fitting differently. Work in progress!
Ok - I've had my fill of Jen Lancaster books (for the time being - mainly because I don't have the remaining two, but that's beside the point).
I have rattan-type boxes on the bottom shelf of each of my bedside tables loaded with books that take precedence over my two large bookcases in the living room. I pulled out one of the boxes and retrieved the book, Traveling with Pomegranates by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor. (Did you read The Secret Life of Bees? FABULOUS book, FYI).
This book hits the relationship I have with my mom to a capital T. Sue starts out the book writing about her approaching 50th birthday (my mom is just a few years past that milestone), who looks at her grown daugther and reflects on her life and the relationship they share. Sue describes events in Ann's life about college graduation, how their relationship was once so close and now it's slightly strained because the entire truth isn't revealed, and their trip to Greece. I can't say that my mom and I are planning on going to Greece, but I've done a lot of what Ann has, as I'm sure my mom has with my moving away and my attempt at "finding who I am" as an adult and not just as her daughter.
I've only just begun reading this and can't put it down. A quote really hit me in regard to those dreaded ex-boyfriends in my life. To set the scene, Ann first recounts her past and then describes a new relationship and how different this is in from those in her past, but for the better:
"Maybe it was because I was far from home, far from my ordinary circumstances, and more or less alone for the first time in my life, feeling like I was on an awkward first date with myself. I'd known who I was with my ex-boyfriend. I'd invested years in the girlfriend role, in the ways of accommodation, being what I thought he wanted me to be, moon to his Jupiter, quietly organizing my psychological orbits around him...p25...Don't ever lose yourself again. And I was vigilant. If I wanted to browse a bookstore or walk the beach instead of watching his tennis match, I did. I realized that not losing myself wasn't only about how we spent time, though; it was about the way I valued myself within the relationship." p. 34
Although I'm not in a relationship at the moment (and I'm quite satisfied with how things are) I am slowing becoming more and more comfortable with doing what makes me happy. I don't plan on losing myself. In reading this novel thus far, I'm 100% content with knowing that doing what I love and then sharing myself in someone else's life is a gift - I'm not going to be a doting, accommodating girlfriend, wife, etc. We all need our own niche in life, and taking strolls alone to be able to come together to share something is what I'm looking for.
Can't wait to see what the rest of the novel brings out of me.........
Day 27 of All Good Things: Coming home after a writing workshop to a clean apartment with a notice of a book delivery in my mailbox.
P.S. Operation weight loss (OWL) is going great! Each day I've completed 25 minutes on the elliptical machine, which claims that I burned 380 calories with 1150 steps (roughly). Although a little skeptical, my heartrate is high and I sweat like a pig, so it's all good. Haven't weighed myself, but my clothes are fitting differently. Work in progress!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Day 4
My favorite books:
I have a very difficult time choosing my favorite book because I am an English teacher by day. If I had to pick one adult novel and one adolescent novel (appropriate for middle schoolers), I'd pick The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein and The Giver by Lois Lowry.
The Giver is one of my favorite novels for young adults because it gives an insight into a perfect world, or utopia.{correction, dystopian world} One activity I complete with my students is forming our own utopian world to show them just how hard governing a community/world may be. This novel is about a boy, Jonas, and his journey becoming the Giver, yet challenging the norms of his society to do what is right.
I have a very difficult time choosing my favorite book because I am an English teacher by day. If I had to pick one adult novel and one adolescent novel (appropriate for middle schoolers), I'd pick The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein and The Giver by Lois Lowry. I particularly liked The Art of Racing in the Rain because it depicted a real story through the eyes of a dog, Enzo, and his owner, a race car driver. The dog is the narrator, a philosopher of sorts, who learns everything he knows about life through watching races on TV.
The Giver is one of my favorite novels for young adults because it gives an insight into a perfect world, or utopia.{correction, dystopian world} One activity I complete with my students is forming our own utopian world to show them just how hard governing a community/world may be. This novel is about a boy, Jonas, and his journey becoming the Giver, yet challenging the norms of his society to do what is right. I'd like to open this up and ask any of you to volunteer to share your favorite book? I've read many and always look for more...
Day 25 of All Good Things: An opportunity arose to tutor during the fall for underprivileged children. I am thankful for this chance to help others.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Day 2 and 3
So I've been slacking a little... this summer vacation gig is really making me a lazy person. If you don't consider the amount of books I've read and dog walks I've been on.
Day 2 and 3:
Favorite movie is simple. Given that my favorite song is "Over the Rainbow" from Wizard of Oz, my favorite movie is the same. I've not only seen the movie numerous times, I've participated in a sing-a-long where I received my own wand, bubbles, and red sparkles, but I've seen the broadway show, and Wicked. There isn't anything I don't like about that movie.
Favorite TV program is a hard choice. I'm not one to watch a ton of TV (at least not during the school year). But, during peak times, I'll watch General Hospital almost daily and I have to watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette when it's on. I'm a glutton for hospitals and reality TV when it comes to finding love. (I've even secretly considered going on the show, but once I printed out the application, I shredded it before filling it out).
Day ___ of All Good Things: Forgetting about the days and spending a lot of time relaxing and contemplating life choices has been great. Can't complain that I don't have to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that...
Day 2 and 3:
Favorite movie is simple. Given that my favorite song is "Over the Rainbow" from Wizard of Oz, my favorite movie is the same. I've not only seen the movie numerous times, I've participated in a sing-a-long where I received my own wand, bubbles, and red sparkles, but I've seen the broadway show, and Wicked. There isn't anything I don't like about that movie.
Favorite TV program is a hard choice. I'm not one to watch a ton of TV (at least not during the school year). But, during peak times, I'll watch General Hospital almost daily and I have to watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette when it's on. I'm a glutton for hospitals and reality TV when it comes to finding love. (I've even secretly considered going on the show, but once I printed out the application, I shredded it before filling it out).
Day ___ of All Good Things: Forgetting about the days and spending a lot of time relaxing and contemplating life choices has been great. Can't complain that I don't have to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that...
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I Am A Chicken
Literally, and figuratively.
It's now after 10 am, when the freelance writing meeting started. Yet, I purposely shut off my alarms (yes, more than 3) and kept sleeping until 9am. I finished a book, ate a waffle, and took dogface for a walk.
I chickened out.
All of my reasons don't really work - I don't like people reading what I write, which is semi-perfect in a blog because I only know those who are following (kinda) and can look around the country/world to see areas where other people are reading. I don't have to open anything up to criticism, which is what took my previous post of saying "yes, I'm going" to today's where I flat out squawked like a chicken and laid my eggs at home.
It's now after 10 am, when the freelance writing meeting started. Yet, I purposely shut off my alarms (yes, more than 3) and kept sleeping until 9am. I finished a book, ate a waffle, and took dogface for a walk.
I chickened out.
All of my reasons don't really work - I don't like people reading what I write, which is semi-perfect in a blog because I only know those who are following (kinda) and can look around the country/world to see areas where other people are reading. I don't have to open anything up to criticism, which is what took my previous post of saying "yes, I'm going" to today's where I flat out squawked like a chicken and laid my eggs at home.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Busy Busy
The past few days have been a whirlwind - a workshop with two great literacy authors/experts and yesterday full of reading and running errands bring me to this morning, where I feel awful and lethargic. Many symptoms from prior to my surgery are resurfacing, which frightens me. I'm hopeful it's just that time and not something as serious as it was back in November. I'm crossing my fingers.
In other news:
I'm going to attend the freelance writing group on Saturday. I'm VERY apprehensive about going because they request you bring a piece for critiquing. Well, I don't have anything to critique and don't want to rush on finishing something, just for the sake of finishing something.
I'm not going home because I can't afford it. Stupid money. Luckily this won't be the case next summer when I'm not working. I've also asked around for various tutoring positions and it looks promising. Only downer is that it won't start until school starts (nothing like a tutoring company, like Sylvan or Huntington).
Dogface's condition is improving. The antibiotics seem to be doing their job and getting rid of the staph. I keep finding chunks of hair and skin around his crate (I know, TMI), but losing that means he's healing. His ear infection is also going away, although squirting the meds in his ear is a large challenge. He's very strong for his 37 pounds.
Picked up a great book and finished it pretty quickly - now I'm on to the second. They are both by Jen Lancaster. She's a memoirist and writes in such a way that makes me laugh out loud when reading. I can see the situations she writes about happening in my head, but can also see various life events I've gone through that are similar. Either way, she's raunchy, real, and hilarious. Love it. Bitter is the New Black is first, and Bright Lights, Big Ass, is the second.
Day 22 of All Good Things: I was able to turn in my paperwork (albeit a month late) for payroll to pay me during the summer months. It sure helps to "kill with kindness"!
Day 23 of All Good Things: Hung out at B&N, met up on a fluke with some teacher friends, went out to eat and received lunch for FREE (took forever to make salads), and came home after a mani/pedi to a happy dog.
In other news:
I'm going to attend the freelance writing group on Saturday. I'm VERY apprehensive about going because they request you bring a piece for critiquing. Well, I don't have anything to critique and don't want to rush on finishing something, just for the sake of finishing something.
I'm not going home because I can't afford it. Stupid money. Luckily this won't be the case next summer when I'm not working. I've also asked around for various tutoring positions and it looks promising. Only downer is that it won't start until school starts (nothing like a tutoring company, like Sylvan or Huntington).
Dogface's condition is improving. The antibiotics seem to be doing their job and getting rid of the staph. I keep finding chunks of hair and skin around his crate (I know, TMI), but losing that means he's healing. His ear infection is also going away, although squirting the meds in his ear is a large challenge. He's very strong for his 37 pounds.
Picked up a great book and finished it pretty quickly - now I'm on to the second. They are both by Jen Lancaster. She's a memoirist and writes in such a way that makes me laugh out loud when reading. I can see the situations she writes about happening in my head, but can also see various life events I've gone through that are similar. Either way, she's raunchy, real, and hilarious. Love it. Bitter is the New Black is first, and Bright Lights, Big Ass, is the second. Day 21 of All Good Things: Finishing up a workshop with great people and presentations. Learned some new ideas I can incorporate into my classroom this fall.
Day 22 of All Good Things: I was able to turn in my paperwork (albeit a month late) for payroll to pay me during the summer months. It sure helps to "kill with kindness"!
Day 23 of All Good Things: Hung out at B&N, met up on a fluke with some teacher friends, went out to eat and received lunch for FREE (took forever to make salads), and came home after a mani/pedi to a happy dog.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Inspire One Another
Just curious to know what brings people to view my blog? Is it because I'm honest about life and what I'm learning and the journey I'm on? Is it because of my writing? Is it because you relate with how crazy, semi-simplistic yet complicated life pans out? Similar situations? A love for the city of love? I'm curious as my ticker of visitors nears 100... Come out and tell me who you are - or at least one thing I can learn from you that is worth teaching to someone else.
We can all inspire each other, right?
We can all inspire each other, right?
Learn Something New Every Day.
Have you ever stopped dating someone and felt a draw back to them even years later?
{Not talking about dating them again - can you spell d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r?}
I ask because today I felt very refreshed while looking at pictures on facebook of a recent wedding. I felt this way because I am not involved in the drama or in the friendships of aforementioned people I thought I was friends with. Sure, when you break up with someone, usually their friends aren't your friends anymore - but this wasn't like that....at least not at first. Yes, the people in the pictures are special, but they aren't special to me. I'm sure some of you are thinking that's so selfish to think that way, but in all honesty, I am the only person looking out for me. For the past few years I keep thinking {and sometimes expressing} that I feel a sense of loss and want to see my ex and play the "what if" game. Maybe this is why I haven't dated anyone longer than a year while living here in FL. Maybe this is why I haven't been 100% confident in my decisions with dating and in having a high self-esteem. What made that guy so special that I have to know what's going on with him? I DON'T. I have more of a sense of peace because I am in a new place. I am not going to let the power of one person in my past change or skew who I am now. I am in a new place and have a sense of satisfaction and reward with my job. I can't really put a finger on why seeing those pictures made me feel refreshed - maybe clarity, or renewed is the word I'm looking for?
Day 20 of All Good Things: Spending a day in a teacher workshop where I learned something I didn't know. Every day we should learn something new.
{Not talking about dating them again - can you spell d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r?}
I ask because today I felt very refreshed while looking at pictures on facebook of a recent wedding. I felt this way because I am not involved in the drama or in the friendships of aforementioned people I thought I was friends with. Sure, when you break up with someone, usually their friends aren't your friends anymore - but this wasn't like that....at least not at first. Yes, the people in the pictures are special, but they aren't special to me. I'm sure some of you are thinking that's so selfish to think that way, but in all honesty, I am the only person looking out for me. For the past few years I keep thinking {and sometimes expressing} that I feel a sense of loss and want to see my ex and play the "what if" game. Maybe this is why I haven't dated anyone longer than a year while living here in FL. Maybe this is why I haven't been 100% confident in my decisions with dating and in having a high self-esteem. What made that guy so special that I have to know what's going on with him? I DON'T. I have more of a sense of peace because I am in a new place. I am not going to let the power of one person in my past change or skew who I am now. I am in a new place and have a sense of satisfaction and reward with my job. I can't really put a finger on why seeing those pictures made me feel refreshed - maybe clarity, or renewed is the word I'm looking for?
Day 20 of All Good Things: Spending a day in a teacher workshop where I learned something I didn't know. Every day we should learn something new.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Day 1
My favorite song:
Over the years, I've come across many songs I love, but my favorite song is "Over the Rainbow" from the Wizard of Oz movie. I used to sing the song {secretly} aloud, wishing I was Judy Garland in her beautiful gingham dress and pigtails, traveling the "world" and flying off in great balloons. Well, at least I have the hair.
Day 19 of All Good Things: Spending the day shopping with my favorite Northern-turned-Southern teacher friend. And quite possibly some relaxing by the pool/sun time.
Over the years, I've come across many songs I love, but my favorite song is "Over the Rainbow" from the Wizard of Oz movie. I used to sing the song {secretly} aloud, wishing I was Judy Garland in her beautiful gingham dress and pigtails, traveling the "world" and flying off in great balloons. Well, at least I have the hair.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
Day 19 of All Good Things: Spending the day shopping with my favorite Northern-turned-Southern teacher friend. And quite possibly some relaxing by the pool/sun time.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
30 Days of Me
I've seen through various blogs that people partake in these 30 day challenges and it caught my interest. What I'll most likely do is not bore all of you with 30 straight days all about me, so it'll be spread out amongst other posts I deem necessary to write.
Here’s the list of what I’ll be sharing for the next 30 days.
Day 01 – your favorite song
Day 02 – your favorite movie
Day 03 – your favorite television program
Day 04 – your favorite book
Day 05 – your favorite quote
Day 06 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 – a photo that makes you happy
Day 08 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 – a photo you took
Day 10 – a photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 – a photo of you taken recently
Day 12 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 – a fictional book
Day 14 – a non-fictional book
Day 15 – a fanfic WHAT IS THIS?
Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 – an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 – a talent of yours
Day 20 – a hobby of yours
Day 21 – a recipe
Day 22 – a website
Day 23 – a YouTube video
Day 24 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Day 27 – this month, in great detail
Day 28 – this year, in great detail
Day 29 – hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — whatever tickles your fancy
I may skip a few dates, but I'm up for the challenge!
Day 18 of All Good Things: Finding the cutest outfit ON SALE. I've been eyeing it for a while and waited to buy it... small things, people, small things! SUCCESS! Sadly, the entire outfit wasn't available, but I did save over 50% on my entire purchase! Can't beat that.
Here’s the list of what I’ll be sharing for the next 30 days.
Day 01 – your favorite song
Day 02 – your favorite movie
Day 03 – your favorite television program
Day 04 – your favorite book
Day 05 – your favorite quote
Day 06 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 – a photo that makes you happy
Day 08 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 – a photo you took
Day 10 – a photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 – a photo of you taken recently
Day 12 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 – a fictional book
Day 14 – a non-fictional book
Day 15 – a fanfic WHAT IS THIS?
Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 – an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 – a talent of yours
Day 20 – a hobby of yours
Day 21 – a recipe
Day 22 – a website
Day 23 – a YouTube video
Day 24 – whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Day 27 – this month, in great detail
Day 28 – this year, in great detail
Day 29 – hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — whatever tickles your fancy
I may skip a few dates, but I'm up for the challenge!
Day 18 of All Good Things: Finding the cutest outfit ON SALE. I've been eyeing it for a while and waited to buy it... small things, people, small things! SUCCESS! Sadly, the entire outfit wasn't available, but I did save over 50% on my entire purchase! Can't beat that.
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